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Random fashion thoughts - Page 6038

post #90556 of 103580
Quote:
Originally Posted by Noctone View Post

And she should know better because in her email she listed the only three times in her life when she's had that "certain feeling of rightness" - one was meeting her cat

real talk you dodged a bullet there.

also you live in Denver go smoke some legal weed.

also don't think of things like relationships as "the final piece" of your life. Life isn't some to-do list.
post #90557 of 103580
Quote:
Originally Posted by Teger View Post

noctone: sounds like she got scared off and isn't ready to settle down. her switch probably flipped the same time yours did, abut it frightened so she had to bail out. tough. you'll probably hear from her again in a few weeks or months.

Yeah, this is what I read into it as well. I'll be holding out hope for you that it's a things she's going through and that maybe in a few weeks she'll come back to her senses and know that she'll want to be Noctonal.
post #90558 of 103580
Quote:
Originally Posted by Noctone View Post

Damn dude, sorry to hear it. frown.gif

She just turned 30 and up until now had acted like it (was a not insignificant part of why I appreciated the relationship so much). Between her email and that text it sounds like she wants fairy tale bullshit which is pretty pathetic for a 30 year old (as is breaking up over email). And she should know better because in her email she listed the only three times in her life when she's had that "certain feeling of rightness" - one was meeting her cat (even as someone who loves his dog more than anything this is fucking lol), two was moving here (she was really close to giving up and moving back home right before she met me) and three was getting into nursing (a career which she's been having a serious existential crisis about over the last couple of weeks). I'm almost 30 myself so it's kind of heartbreaking to see someone my own age be so naive and unrealistic.
Christ, that's awful dude. How do people do that cold-blooded shit?
It would be so hilarious I almost want to do it.

Just try to put it behind you and move on...easier said than done, I know..
post #90559 of 103580
Noctone - Feel for you man. My $.02: Whatever happens, do not take her back. Of course, this might not even be an option, but just in case she "freaked out" and has a change of heart... She's already shown she's capable of flipping her switch either way and dropping a bomb on you without notice, via email no less. What would be next, a text several months down the line? You don't wanna' live with those doubts in the back of your mind. As I'm sure you know, it hurts for a while, but you'll be good. Maybe grab Unc. as a wingman and slay it!!!
post #90560 of 103580
Quote:
Originally Posted by iamacyborg View Post

Is she maybe having some real issues with the nursing stuff and taking her frustrations out in completely the wrong way? Worth talking to her about things if you still have feelings for her, everyone fucks up every now and again and maybe she just needs some reassurance or something.
I figure it has something to do with it, although to what extent I don't know. Nursing isn't at all what she intended to start a career in, but rather came to her as a calling after undergrad. She's been having a really difficult time reconciling her propensity to connect with her patients with the fact that a lot of them die (she works in a cardiothoracic ICU). It's one thing to have doubts about your job, but having doubts about what you feel is your calling is probably a major headfuck. I can only imagine it might make one question everything else in their life.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Teger View Post

noctone: sounds like she got scared off and isn't ready to settle down. her switch probably flipped the same time yours did, abut it frightened so she had to bail out. tough. you'll probably hear from her again in a few weeks or months.
Yeah this occurred to me too. She broke off an engagement for similar reasons a year or two ago, so I'm wondering if there isn't some commitment issue at play. I can't exactly blame her, I've also been in the situation of being super into a relationship until the true gravity of where it was going freaked me out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cocostella View Post

Noctone - Feel for you man. My $.02: Whatever happens, do not take her back. Of course, this might not even be an option, but just in case she "freaked out" and has a change of heart... She's already shown she's capable of flipping her switch either way and dropping a bomb on you without notice, via email no less. What would be next, a text several months down the line? You don't wanna' live with those doubts in the back of your mind. As I'm sure you know, it hurts for a while, but you'll be good. Maybe grab Unc. as a wingman and slay it!!!
Yeah more or less. I'm not sure if I'm even inclined to ever talk to her again, let alone ever consider being friends or giving her another chance if she wants it. It's hard to say right now how I'd feel about it, but the how and why of the breakup has certainly damaged any benefit of the doubt I could've given her.


Thanks for the kind words and advice y'all, I realize this isn't really the place for this but I really value the community here.
post #90561 of 103580
Quote:
Originally Posted by GraphicNovelty View Post

real talk you dodged a bullet there.

also you live in Denver go smoke some legal weed.

also don't think of things like relationships as "the final piece" of your life. Life isn't some to-do list.
Forgot to quote this. Don't misunderstand me, I don't view relationships as part of some checklist. I already have a great job and live in a city I love and generally have a pretty awesome life, and she complemented that.
post #90562 of 103580
coco spits truth, she proved that she is incapable of ration thought and decision making so any further consideration of her as a life partner would be foolish on your part

if she can't confront her fears in person and discuss them with you like an adult that's not someone you want to spend the rest of your life with pure and simple

consider yourself lucky, go smoke and count your blessings
post #90563 of 103580
and get your Zam scarf back
post #90564 of 103580

the email part is the one that kills me. People make mistakes, say stuff they don't completely mean all the time, but email seems much more calculated, and as such pretty revelatory of her mindset

post #90565 of 103580
Quote:
Originally Posted by momentoftruth View Post
 

the email part is the one that kills me. People make mistakes, say stuff they don't completely mean all the time, but email seems much more calculated, and as such pretty revelatory of her mindset

 

 

Or she had anxiety issues and couldn't face him?

 

I had a brief thing with a chick I met online, she was super cool but suffered from severe anxiety and depression, to the point where she struggled to even get out of the house or to go see me, despite being able to chat on the phone for hours.

 

 

Sounds like she's just not in a good spot in her life, for whatever reason and took the easy way out.

post #90566 of 103580
Quote:
Originally Posted by Krish the Fish View Post

and get your Zam scarf back

He'll be lucky:-(
post #90567 of 103580

@Noctone

 

Not to laugh about your situation, but I find it a compliment you value our work so much that you want your scarf back in the middle of a greater issue existing here........

but on the more serious side, be happy she broke the relationship off now, rather than if you had a child together several years down the road or even was married where you had to share half of your shit with her because some court of justice system decided you have to when it wasn't you who decided you wanted out.

 

Most young women nowadays are out of touch with reality to the point where its scary. there is almost no incentive today for men to get into relationships or get married because the deck is almost stacked against you.

One of the ugly secrets of break ups and divorce is that since the 1980's 90% of all divorces are filed by women and usually not for reasons we would expect.
Had you sent her a breakup email or any kind of correspondence the way she did you would be the biggest jerk around.

Feminism might have given women empowerment and opportunities to be treated "equally' with men, but it has also destroyed and continue to destroy many young women with the bullshit notion that they can have it all and dont have to settle. it has many many young women narcissistic egomaniacs who cannot know or appreciate a good man when she sees one, simply because she is often distrustful of all men.

 

God bless lucky women who still exist who are not caught up in the unrealistic projections that will only lead to depression and unhappiness for many later on in life............

post #90568 of 103580
People are narcissistic assholes who think they deserve more than they actually do. I wouldn't pin this one woman's childish behavior on feminism.
post #90569 of 103580
Agree with Zamb, but don't forget that men are also equally looking for unrealistic women and relationships due to movies/entertainment/porn etc. Right now everyone is so fucked on what they think they deserve out of a relationship and life that if you find a girl/guy/partner you want to spend a lot of time with, hang on to that person!
post #90570 of 103580
You are awesome, Zam
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