A classmate of mine recently reminded me that he and I met at a blood drive at our school under some unusual circumstances. I'd just donated blood, and the guy from the blood bank whose sole job it is is to lead you from your cot to the table with snacks and juice was this little furry Filipino man with giant glasses who gave off this really frenetic, horny, sweaty vibe - smiling with too much teeth showing, laughing hysterically like a crazy person over nothing, hands jammed in his pockets too tight as though holding onto sanity for dear life/furiously pushing down a nervous boner.
He walked me over to the table covered in Lorna Doone cookies and Welsch's fruit snacks and offered to show me how to fold a dollar bill into a t-shirt. As an Asian girl, I of course know how to do this already, and told him so.
Him: "Oh... well, um, do you want to, um, hear a joke? Hehehee!"
Him: "Uhhh.... how do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?"
Him: (whispering) "Just pick it up and give it a blow job!!!"
I looked around incredulously, wondering if this guy was indeed a blood bank person or just a crazy person that walked in off the street. I laughed and then immediately started talking to another kid sitting at the snack table to disengage from the conversation with the blood bank guy.
Him: "...Hey! You should give me your email address so I can send you more of my jokes! Hey!"