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For the dads - going from 2 ->3 kids

post #1 of 18
7/28/09 at 11:12am
Thread Starter 
We're pondering going from 2 kids to 3, and I notice that quite a few members on this thread have already done so. So, for those with three kids, what were the major differences you've noticed in:

1. Pace of life
2. Relationship with partner
3. Relationship with other kids
4. Finances
5. Anything else

Geoff
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post #2 of 18
7/28/09 at 11:24am
was exponentially harder for us, completely changed the dynamic. and our third is adorable and generally sweet but can be very difficult and is a fighter after trying to hold his own against 2 big brothers.
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post #3 of 18
7/28/09 at 12:49pm
I went from one to 3, huge difference.

the car thing can be big - 4 sit pretty comfortably in any car, 5 might be more difficult. money wise, it really depends on if you are in private schools, what the camps are like, so on. my first was in a full time montessori daycare, we decided with the twins to do one day a week daycare, mostly to save money. flying, the extra tickets add up.

I am not sure that 3 means less sex than 2. I can tell you 3 means less sex than 1.

anyway, good luck.
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post #4 of 18
7/28/09 at 5:07pm
Requires a complete change in strategy, from man-to-man to zone.
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post #5 of 18
7/28/09 at 5:08pm
and requires a minivan
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post #6 of 18
7/28/09 at 5:09pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by thinman View Post
Requires a complete change in strategy, from man-to-man to zone.

LULZ. I only have one, but I have a friend with 2 who says they stopped there because at 3, you're outnumbered.
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post #7 of 18
7/28/09 at 5:50pm
2->3. if you don't, you'll probably regret it.
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post #8 of 18
7/28/09 at 6:09pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by thinman View Post
Requires a complete change in strategy, from man-to-man to zone.

This was the biggest change for us. However, if you space them out enough, the oldest can help a little. This wasn't the case for us, as we had three kids in three years. For a time we had all three in diapers. The kids are a little older and play with each other now. If you can space them out, this will help a lot.

Financially I don't think there was a big change (except when all three were in diapers at once). We have successfully crammed all three in their carseats in the back of my wife's Matrix. The car is what's limiting us to only three. We can't afford a minivan right now.

Whether it be one kid or three or three hundred, your sex life is detrimentally affected. She's tired. You're tired. All you want to do is sleep. We went from several times a day before kids to a couple times a month after kids. No fun.
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post #9 of 18
7/28/09 at 6:56pm
The standard joke is that you're going from man-to-man to zone defense. We're not good at zone, so we quit at 2.
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post #10 of 18
7/29/09 at 11:44am
2 to 3 was less of a change than 1 to 2 and a lot less than 0 to1. ( this is assuming they're pretty close in age). 3 and up the change is additive, not substantive. Spacing kids more than 2 yrs apart is a mistake IMO.
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post #11 of 18
7/29/09 at 1:42pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by yachtie View Post
2 to 3 was less of a change than 1 to 2 and a lot less than 0 to1. ( this is assuming they're pretty close in age). 3 and up the change is additive, not substantive. Spacing kids more than 2 yrs apart is a mistake IMO.

+1. For us 3 and 4 just added on. 1 and 2 already established all our routines.

I also agree with the spacing thing. You want to establish the pipeline and then move everyone through it at a steady even pace.

I was an Irish twin and Im pleased to say my last two were also.
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post #12 of 18
7/29/09 at 6:40pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by yachtie View Post
2 to 3 was less of a change than 1 to 2 and a lot less than 0 to1. ( this is assuming they're pretty close in age). 3 and up the change is additive, not substantive. Spacing kids more than 2 yrs apart is a mistake IMO.

I thought so, but 5 years is a pretty good gap, too. we are very happy with the type of interaction between our kids.
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post #13 of 18
7/30/09 at 12:27am
Quote:
Originally Posted by thekunk07 View Post
was exponentially harder for us, completely changed the dynamic.

This has been our experience, too. We had two daughters, and our third is a boy...completely different. I often think we would have been better prepared had we had a son first and the daughters afterward.

Quote:
Originally Posted by thinman View Post
Requires a complete change in strategy, from man-to-man to zone.

The flaw in this analogy is that, in sports like basketball, the two teams are equal in numbers. The more precise comparison is being a man down as in soccer or hockey -- it is a real disadvantage.

Quote:
Originally Posted by the law View Post
The car is what's limiting us to only three.

Whether it be one kid or three or three hundred, your sex life is detrimentally affected. She's tired. You're tired. All you want to do is sleep. We went from several times a day before kids to a couple times a month after kids. No fun.

"Only three"? You are a braver man than I.

+1 on how life changes. Our kids are 8, almost 5 and 1.5. Don't kid yourself about how hard it can sometimes be. Fun, yes, but not as often as simply tiring.

My only advice is to think very carefully and to be sure that you and your wife are in complete agreement.
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post #14 of 18
7/30/09 at 7:24pm
Can't speak from experience here, but I imagine if you have a girl and a boy you can expect an easier transition than say 2 boys then a girl. This might not be of much relevence for quite a few years, though. I really laughed at the man-to-man -> zone comment-- never heard that before.
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post #15 of 18
7/30/09 at 11:04pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by thekunk07 View Post
and requires a minivan

I will NEVER own a minivan.
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