Teach me about golf

This is like asking folks to tell you how to assemble an automobile in a few pages on a message board. It can't be done. You are in the best position to learn about golf. Just keep your eyes and ears open and start learning. No one will ask you for advice. If they do, don't try to give any. Ask for help from someone that knows what they are doing. I have been playing/watching/learning golf for over 30 years now and there is a relatively small range of advice I'd be willing to give other people as I am not a pro. What is your job?

"What is your job" is indeed the pertinent question. If you are caddying, there is a problem. If you're working the register in the pro shop there is somewhat less of a problem. If you're cleaning up golf carts there is no problem. Not a chance in hell of you being able to do this without significant experience. Get them to ask one of the pros or someone in the shop who knows what they're talking about, if such a person is available. Difference between golf balls, fwiw, is basically non-existent at any low level of play, so anyone who needs to know the difference is probably going to know it already. This is a good start should you end up on the course. http://www.golftrainingaidsreviewed....-Etiquitte.htm Pay particular attention to the stuff about not walking across or casting a shadow across someone's putting line... very common that people don't know not to do that.

Don't stand in my line, asshole! But seriously...there are many many little rules and intricacies to golf. I feel that these are best learned at a 9-hole, par-30 course every summer starting at age 8 (or when you are big enough to carry a bag and walk the half-mile to the course by yourself. I assume you are 15 - 22 years old; nobody is going to ask the kid at the register any serious questions. The most in-depth question you will be asked are "what are the pin placements today?" or "where is the first tee/putting green/etc." EDIT: Golf is actually a very simple game: there are 18 (sometimes 9...) holes and the object is to hit the ball into the hole in the fewest number of strokes. The "par for the course" is how many shots the course was designed to have required. That means that each hole is designed to require 1, 2, or 3 shots onto the green (depending on how long the particular hole is) and then 2 putts into the cup; this results in every hole being par 3 (1+2), par 4 (2+2), or par 5 (3+2). Now, of course, golf courses are filled with twists and turns, sand traps, water hazards, cliffs and hills and valleys. The many different clubs (max 14) in a player's bag are each built with varying degrees of loft (and size/density?? I actually don't know that...) which means that they each hit the ball different distances. The idea is to decide where / how far one wants to hit a shot, select the correct club, and make perfect connection. There is always room for brazenness and error... This means that it is possible to hit the ball on the green of a par 5 in 2 shots, and then 1-putt for an Eagle (2 under par)! It is also possible to donate 5 balls into the water, slice one over the highway, and snap the club in half over your knee before tossing a branch at that smug fucking duck who quacked in your backswing. There are also some more detailed rules...how hazards affect your score, what to do when certain things happen, many rules of etiquette, etc. While you are here, I'd take advantage of it (discounted / free greens fees?) and learn to play the game. It is something you can do for a long time.

I've been doing this since high school, almost done with college. Basically, you'll never learn the intriciacies without playing golf yourself for awhile. Try and go out with some of the guys you work with when they play, even if it's only to watch or hit some putts...you won't understand many of the rules until you see the game in action.

Here's the best way that I know to describe golf: Get a plastic box. Place two flies inside. Watch them fuck.

Pointless game, but very fun. I sprained my wrist playing and it has never been the same. Lofted clubs to delofted clubs: Lob wedge, Sand Wedge, Pitch Wedge, Gab Wedge, 9i, 8i, 7i, 6i, 5i, 4i, 3i, 2i, 1i, various woods, then driver More loft = higher ball flight, shorter distance, easier to hit, can take a steeper swing and more divot (chunk of earth you dig out when you hit the ball) Less loft = generally lower ball flight, longer distance, harder to hit, shallow swing needed to "sweep" the ball, shallower and smaller divots You always want to hit down on the ball, with a descending blow, only bottoming out after you hit the ball, the club's loft will do the job of getting it into the air, think of pinching the ball in between the club and the ground and using the ground as a trampoline to spit it up. Unless you are on the tee with a driver or wood, then a slightly ascending swing is needed. ITS ALL IN THE WRISTS, LAG THE WRISTS otherwise: have fun hanging out with old people, walking with a bag on your back, getting thirsty and sunburned and blisters on your fingers

Short list of essentials:
power
accuracy
luck

If those don't get it going - get Hogan's book.