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Anyone dealt with depression/ Bi-polar in their partner? - Page 2

post #16 of 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by longskate88 View Post
I met a new girl recently, and we were talking last night about her past...

Has anyone been in a relationship with someone who has history of mild bi-polar/depressive beahvior, a suicidal event, etc?

It's not case of past abuse or violence, just a lot of little things that caused bad thoughts. She's currently on low dose Lithium, and her whole family has similar problems.

Does anyone have advice or experiences? I like her a lot

post #17 of 54
Crazy girls are my fucking specialty. I just can't resist them for some reason. That being said, I have only this advice: RUN.
post #18 of 54
To bring this up again, the "Hot/Crazy scale":
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post #19 of 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by willpower View Post
Run. Run like your ass is on fire.

+100000
post #20 of 54
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by JD_May View Post
Crazy girls are my fucking specialty. I just can't resist them for some reason. That being said, I have only this advice: RUN.

Ok, it's been said before, but why the "RUN?" What's the worst that's going to happen...and I'm assuming/hoping she's not hardcore crazy, just a little off
post #21 of 54
If it's a mild case, then a relationship is probably manageable. Anything other than that, do yourself a favor and cut it loose
post #22 of 54
Why is this still being discussed seriously? Crazy bitches may be fun in the sack, but that's about it. If you value your sanity/self esteem/self worth/free time/life, then don't get involved. There are tons of women out there who are not crazy - don't sell yourself short. I did for a year and a half and now I'm kicking myself; there are plenty of non-crazy women that will love you. After dating a crazy shrink's daughter who had massive mood swings, clinical depression, anxiety, anxiety attacks and separation anxiety (hey, she hid it really well when we were only seeing eachother) there is no fucking way I would ever consider a relationship with someone who isn't 100% sane. It.is.not.worth.it. Sorry to browbeat you with this stuff but seriously, if she seems a little off now just wait 6 months when she goes full-blown batshit crazy and says she's going to kill herself if you don't come stay with her every second of every day and massage her ego and try to convince her she's sane while everyone else is crazy. Fuck.
post #23 of 54
A lot of not very serious replies here. Depression is very different than being bipolar. I have a close friend who was diagnosed as bipolar a few years ago and all I can say is that his life has totally spiraled out of control since then. I am probably not as knowledgeable as I should be, but even on medication I would say that he is a changed man and not for the better.

If the girl is open enough to tell you she is/was getting treatment I wouldn't brush her off. However, I have a feeling unless she is a really cool person you are going to get tired of dealing with someone with these types of problems.
post #24 of 54
Be prepared for things like inevitably draining every cash account available and maxing out the credit cards on harebrained schemes cooked up during a manic phase that no one could talk her out of, suicide attempts, threats, lies, disappearances, etc.

I'm not saying every person with bipolar will do these things, but I have seen these things happen.

A coworker had a relative disappear once. After a month or two went by, we all kind of assumed he was dead. It was really a horrible time. What can you do to comfort someone when a relative disappears and is likely dead? Well, after a while, the relative turned up alive and homeless across the country. Police picked him up for something, realized he was ill, and took him to the psych ward. Eventually they unwrapped it all and found out who he was and got in touch with my coworker. Bipolar.

A girl I dated a few times waited until right when I was thinking I was going to get some for the first time from her to tell me she was bipolar. She also explained the reality of her life. Lost her (good) job, declared bankruptcy, etc. In and out of the hospital after a few suicide attempts, but had been doing well for a few years with careful treatment and monitoring, etc. Had to be on disability since she couldn't support herself for long. I had my suspicions that something wasn't right from the start, but had no idea the depth of it. She was good at hiding most of it initially, but she didn't want to get seriously involved with anyone until they knew what they were getting into.

The other side of the coin, is that you start to realize that a lot of these folks would be a lot better off if they had a social support network that really cared for them and watched them. But, the reality is that it is a lot of work. If you end up the only person in the support network, it can really wear you down fast. Not to mention if things don't work out and you want to break up with this girl. . . suicidal pleas are not out of the question.
post #25 of 54
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Milhouse View Post
Be prepared for things like inevitably draining every cash account available and maxing out the credit cards on harebrained schemes cooked up during a manic phase that no one could talk her out of, suicide attempts, threats, lies, disappearances, etc. I'm not saying every person with bipolar will do these things, but I have seen these things happen. A coworker had a relative disappear once. After a month or two went by, we all kind of assumed he was dead. It was really a horrible time. What can you do to comfort someone when a relative disappears and is likely dead? Well, after a while, the relative turned up alive and homeless across the country. Police picked him up for something, realized he was ill, and took him to the psych ward. Eventually they unwrapped it all and found out who he was and got in touch with my coworker. Bipolar. A girl I dated a few times waited until right when I was thinking I was going to get some for the first time from her to tell me she was bipolar. She also explained the reality of her life. Lost her (good) job, declared bankruptcy, etc. In and out of the hospital after a few suicide attempts, but had been doing well for a few years with careful treatment and monitoring, etc. Had to be on disability since she couldn't support herself for long. I had my suspicions that something wasn't right from the start, but had no idea the depth of it. She was good at hiding most of it initially, but she didn't want to get seriously involved with anyone until they knew what they were getting into. The other side of the coin, is that you start to realize that a lot of these folks would be a lot better off if they had a social support network that really cared for them and watched them. But, the reality is that it is a lot of work. If you end up the only person in the support network, it can really wear you down fast. Not to mention if things don't work out and you want to break up with this girl. . . suicidal pleas are not out of the question.
Thanks Milhouse, I always appreciate your advice in this and other of my threads. I'm going to operate on the assumption that she's just mildly depressed currently until I see otherwise. She said she talked to the psychiatrist for like 15 minutes one time, and the outcome was a suggestion of possible bi-polar tendencies. It didn't sound like a serious diagnosis. She says she still only takes the anti-depressants because they simply increase her happiness without much effort. Can't say I wouldn't' do the same were I in her situation She also got very irritable when she tried going cold turkey at one point, which makes sense since I don't think you're supposed to quit them all of a sudden. We're going to a romantic area tonight for our first real dinner, I figure i'll make a move. she's always been really touchy and affectionate, so I can only assume she wants the same thing. Otherwise, if I get a fork in my eye, I'll know not to do that again
post #26 of 54
Be prepared as mentioned by Milhouse - good advice.

Have I dated a girl with some issues? Yes.
Did we care about eachother and have some wonderful times together? Yes.
Would I date another girl like her? No.
post #27 of 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by longskate88 View Post
Ok, it's been said before, but why the "RUN?" What's the worst that's going to happen...
That's the problem: you can't even imagine the worst that can happen.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nomad_K View Post
Did we care about eachother and have some wonderful times together? Yes.
Would I date another girl like her? No.
This pretty much sums up a lot of peoples' experience on this subject.
post #28 of 54
Thread Starter 
Update: I do little things that annoy her like adjusting my seatbelt or cracking my knuckles, and she either yells at me, slaps my hands, or pinches me as hard as she can...in a playful way...I think. She's not afraid to play around and be loud in a restaurant, and we teased each other a lot during the 3 hours we ate (fondue place). She didn't try and physically hurt me with the hot fondue pot, so that's a good sign. She tickles me (hard), all the time. It's playful and cute, but a little annoying when she's doing it while I'm trying to be affectionate. We were just walking down the street, and she got pouty and said I made her mad, but woulnd't say why. After I repeatedly ask, she later says "I'm even more angry that you don't want to know what made me angry." Shoot me now. It's all playful and endearing in a way, but I still don't know if she's doing it consciously and on purpose and will quit trying so hard if we start consistently dating....or if she's just hyper and lacking a 'filter' on her behavior. She has a good job, lives with roommates, seems responsible and all that. FWIW I've only dated shy, reserved girls, so I have no context whether this can be normal or not.
post #29 of 54
She is shy, but she's overcompensating.
post #30 of 54
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kas View Post
She is shy, but she's overcompensating.
God I hope so Edit: No way in hell she's shy. Inexperienced maybe, but she talks to anyone and everyone. I thought she was going to ask our waitress for her phone number last night after the all the personal questions she asked her.
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