People on Yelp: Why do you all suck?

My reviews do not suck. This is all.

Originally Posted by nahneun

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... Fat people generally think they're not as fat as they really are.

Lol, that's the first thing that I thought of when he wrote, ".. averaged size man." Sad thing is, in America, being fat is average

Yelp, Stop Hyping Ippudo!!

I like reading reviews and writing sometimes... most of the time you can determine from the reviews if it is a place you'd like or is worth trying. I hate the Elite users who seem to be especially annoying, and the ones that write 10 paragraph reviews including a back story and all this useless information not pertaining to the restaurant or whatever.

Also there's always that one person writing a bad review on a good place but you can usually tell they're stupid and don't know what they're talking about. >_<

Here's a recent one from a STEAK RESTAURANT:

The food was lackluster and I don't have to mention overpriced but I will. Mind you I don't eat red meat so what the hell was I doing there anyway. Service was fair...not great, not bad. The music was cool but way too loud to hold a conversation. Therefore everyone shouts. Since the tables are close together so be prepared for the cacophony of yelling over the person at the next table while listening to Lenny Kravitz at decibels totally non-conducive to a dining experience. The clientele is Persian-heavy. Take that little tidbit however you wish.

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Originally Posted by CouttsClient

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Here's a recent one from a STEAK RESTAURANT:
Is it STK in West Hollywood? If so, how's the bourbon? (makes a nice sauce/marinade for steak ). EDIT: looked it up on Yelp and seems many people like the atmosphere, etc. Guess that reviewer took a wrong turn or something, as she definitely had something else in mind for dinner, among other things, despite knowing it's a steak place. Seems from her other reviews that she likes beer and yoga, though, so what was she doing there, indeed-- i.e., that's a funny review. Thanks for sharing).

Let's see you submit a decent review that the general populace finds of use. Mag / food critic reviews are not helpful as restaurant quality is often not that consistent - they might have went when they were "on" or when they were "off", as well half the time they are "bought" or have received special treatment anyway. Restaurants that aggregate many reviews are a far better indicator as they sample a wide proportion of the population. Just because someone doesn't like a place doesn't mean they're cheap.What you do not find helpful may not be the same as what everyone else does not find helpful. Some of these "rants" are actually quite useful - maybe I DO want to know that the portion sizes are damn tiny before having a company lunch at an establishment in case colleagues would want something more reasonable. $8 for one scallop would piss me off at most establishments unless it was amazingly done. Sounds like some of you guys are either bitter restauranteurs that got ripped on Yelp or more likely insecure dickwads who like paying for ******, overpriced food that passes off as "fine dining" and defending it to appear wealthy...also likely the same guys who would rip on people leaving less than 25% tip at restaurants for **** service and then buying used shoes on B&S. Before you bring it up, I've paid $300 for two people before. Set menu with wine pairing. It's probably not as indulgent as some people (claim) to have paid for in that other thread about restaurant bills, but it's still not pocket change to 90% of the population. It was extremely good and I would do it again. Conversely, I paid $50 for a meal at another establishment and it was absolute, disgusting garbage. The review site that I use had it averaged at 3/5. I brought it down to 2/5 . Bad and even mediocre restaurants deserved to be ripped on review sites to separate them from the ones that are actually good and provide fair value.

^seems you know not which you speak of re: yelp

Originally Posted by svelten

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Let's see you submit a decent review that the general populace finds of use. Mag / food critic reviews are not helpful as restaurant quality is often not that consistent - they might have went when they were "on" or when they were "off", as well half the time they are "bought" or have received special treatment anyway. Restaurants that aggregate many reviews are a far better indicator as they sample a wide proportion of the population.

Just because someone doesn't like a place doesn't mean they're cheap.What you do not find helpful may not be the same as what everyone else does not find helpful. Some of these "rants" are actually quite useful - maybe I DO want to know that the portion sizes are damn tiny before having a company lunch at an establishment in case colleagues would want something more reasonable. $8 for one scallop would piss me off at most establishments unless it was amazingly done.

Sounds like some of you guys are either bitter restauranteurs that got ripped on Yelp or more likely insecure dickwads who like paying for ******, overpriced food that passes off as "fine dining" and defending it to appear wealthy...also likely the same guys who would rip on people leaving less than 25% tip at restaurants for **** service and then buying used shoes on B&S.

Before you bring it up, I've paid $300 for two people before. Set menu with wine pairing. It's probably not as indulgent as some people (claim) to have paid for in that other thread about restaurant bills, but it's still not pocket change to 90% of the population. It was extremely good and I would do it again. Conversely, I paid $50 for a meal at another establishment and it was absolute, disgusting garbage. The review site that I use had it averaged at 3/5. I brought it down to 2/5 . Bad and even mediocre restaurants deserved to be ripped on review sites to separate them from the ones that are actually good and provide fair value.

what the hell is this? did you read anything in this thread at all or know what yelp is?

Originally Posted by svelten

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Let's see you submit a decent review that the general populace finds of use. Mag / food critic reviews are not helpful as restaurant quality is often not that consistent - they might have went when they were "on" or when they were "off", as well half the time they are "bought" or have received special treatment anyway. Restaurants that aggregate many reviews are a far better indicator as they sample a wide proportion of the population.

Just because someone doesn't like a place doesn't mean they're cheap.What you do not find helpful may not be the same as what everyone else does not find helpful. Some of these "rants" are actually quite useful - maybe I DO want to know that the portion sizes are damn tiny before having a company lunch at an establishment in case colleagues would want something more reasonable. $8 for one scallop would piss me off at most establishments unless it was amazingly done.

Sounds like some of you guys are either bitter restauranteurs that got ripped on Yelp or more likely insecure dickwads who like paying for ******, overpriced food that passes off as "fine dining" and defending it to appear wealthy...also likely the same guys who would rip on people leaving less than 25% tip at restaurants for **** service and then buying used shoes on B&S.

Before you bring it up, I've paid $300 for two people before. Set menu with wine pairing. It's probably not as indulgent as some people (claim) to have paid for in that other thread about restaurant bills, but it's still not pocket change to 90% of the population. It was extremely good and I would do it again. Conversely, I paid $50 for a meal at another establishment and it was absolute, disgusting garbage. The review site that I use had it averaged at 3/5. I brought it down to 2/5 . Bad and even mediocre restaurants deserved to be ripped on review sites to separate them from the ones that are actually good and provide fair value.

This is a genius parody, spot-on, of the incoherent manifestos that people post on Yelp. Well done, sir.

Gahaha it totally was.

Originally Posted by svelten

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Let's see you submit a decent review that the general populace finds of use. Mag / food critic reviews are not helpful as restaurant quality is often not that consistent - they might have went when they were "on" or when they were "off", as well half the time they are "bought" or have received special treatment anyway. Restaurants that aggregate many reviews are a far better indicator as they sample a wide proportion of the population.

Just because someone doesn't like a place doesn't mean they're cheap.What you do not find helpful may not be the same as what everyone else does not find helpful. Some of these "rants" are actually quite useful - maybe I DO want to know that the portion sizes are damn tiny before having a company lunch at an establishment in case colleagues would want something more reasonable. $8 for one scallop would piss me off at most establishments unless it was amazingly done.

Sounds like some of you guys are either bitter restauranteurs that got ripped on Yelp or more likely insecure dickwads who like paying for ******, overpriced food that passes off as "fine dining" and defending it to appear wealthy...also likely the same guys who would rip on people leaving less than 25% tip at restaurants for **** service and then buying used shoes on B&S.

Before you bring it up, I've paid $300 for two people before. Set menu with wine pairing. It's probably not as indulgent as some people (claim) to have paid for in that other thread about restaurant bills, but it's still not pocket change to 90% of the population. It was extremely good and I would do it again. Conversely, I paid $50 for a meal at another establishment and it was absolute, disgusting garbage. The review site that I use had it averaged at 3/5. I brought it down to 2/5 . Bad and even mediocre restaurants deserved to be ripped on review sites to separate them from the ones that are actually good and provide fair value.

Aaaaaaand we got us a Yelper!

Elite, but the sounds of it.

I did enjoy the insecure, pre-emptive response at the end.

Originally Posted by svelten

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Before you bring it up, I've paid $300 for two people before. Set menu with wine pairing. It's probably not as indulgent as some people (claim) to have paid for in that other thread about restaurant bills, but it's still not pocket change to 90% of the population. It was extremely good and I would do it again.

It was actually a double preemptive, I was about to say that $150 per person with wine pairing is pretty economical. Then I read the 2nd sentence.

I also enjoyed the following review a lot:

"The food was great, but the best thing about Gramercy Tavern, in my opinion, was the outstanding service. I have never been treated so well or felt so welcomed at a restaurant in my entire life. Our server was outstanding. My father, at first, felt that the tasting portions were not big enough (believe me, they were, but dad will always find something he doesn't like). Without even having to ask, a server came by and gave my father a second helping of one of the courses. From that point on, he was given double portions of all of the courses, with no added cost."

Maybe it is a New York thing, but I hate looking at yelp for reviews of restaurants that are supposed to be top notch only to find 300 reviews of Saturday brunch. "My mimosa was excellent! The french toast is to die for!" Give me a break.

Then you have those obsessive yelpers who review every place they go to even if it is just once, whithout getting a real cross section of the establishment. They will use overly descriptive words and try to sound like New York Times restaurant reviewers. It makes them sound like young adult authors.