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People on Yelp: Why do you all suck?

post #1 of 203
Thread Starter 
People on Yelp are sometimes so funny it's sad.
Looking up a pretty decent place in Chicago, I came across these two comments:

(1 * review)

If you r a strange-o that feels good about overpaying for small portions and enjoy bad latin music, ______ is the place for u. We received 2 pebbles they called scallops for $8 as an appetizer and then our "meal" came and I was wondering how this place can justify charging the outrageous prices THEY DO, for the small portions they offer. I've never seen my gf finish an entire meal while we were on a date before(she's not a big eater), but ______ can now make that claim. If you're an average sized man and plan on going to _____, please make sure to schedule a trip to burger king afterwards to make sure you are properly fed for the evening. This place is perfect for anorexic women, but if you want to feel satisfied after spending $30 on some latin dish you've never heard of PLEASE AVOID _______.

I dunno. Just struck me like a complete doucher. Especially considering that the restaurant is pretty decent and the portion sizes are seriously nothing to raise your nose at.

Another, same place.
(4 * review)

A completely competent establishment. It really deserves 5 stars, but I did not enjoy the duck as much as I thought. Starting at the bar, great, friendly bartenders, mixing up great Mojitos and recommend beers from a list that focuses on Central and South America. Server was great. Attentive, friendly, always asking if we need more drinks. Food came quickly, and was well presented. My duck was expertly cooked. A fine dish, in and of itself. Just not what I was looking for that evening. My fault, not the restaurant.

One visit to _____ and it's easy to see why this place is always packed on the weekend. It can offer something to everybody. A trendy, but unpretentious place that can cater to large groups or couples out for a romantic dinner. I'd definitely return


So you think it deserves five stars, but you gave it four because you ordered a dish you weren't in the mood for, that you admit was expertly cooked? WTF?


Responders: either continue with the pile-on of shitty yelpers or post your own shitty reviews for us to make fun of you.
post #2 of 203
Yeah, people are different and get angry or stupid about things that they see as important. OMG $8 small plate??? NO WAY!!!! You never see those prices at McDs, who do those pricks think they are?????
post #3 of 203
Obviously, the person who gave the 1 star review is really really fat and is only used to eating super sized portions, as is his girlfriend. Fat people generally think they're not as fat as they really are.
post #4 of 203
some people try too hard to be funny and witty and it makes them look like douchebags.
post #5 of 203
This is why restaurant and bar owners really hate yelp.
post #6 of 203
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xericx View Post
some people try too hard to be funny and witty and it makes them look like douchebags.

hay I resemble that remark.
post #7 of 203
But you can never get enough scallops. Unless they're the size of hockey pucks. Then you can get enough.
post #8 of 203
Most people don't know what's good. Restaurant reviews are one of these things for which I trust proper critics far more than signs of popularity (e.g. Zagat scores, difficulty to get a table, yelp reviews, etc...).
post #9 of 203
Quote:
Originally Posted by gdl203 View Post
Most people don't know what's good. Restaurant reviews are one of these things for which I trust proper critics far more than signs of popularity (e.g. Zagat scores, difficulty to get a table, yelp reviews, etc...).
This is damn important. "Social media" and social help sites are a disaster in this area. Knowledge isn't a democratic process. Also the groupthink kills me.
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post #10 of 203
I look at yelp reviews for new restaurants. Obviously, take everything said with a bucket of salt. You can usually tell, however, if someone's a foodie, or some dickhead just trying to be witty.
post #11 of 203
i like yelp....at times. most reviews are kind of accurate.
post #12 of 203
Quote:
Originally Posted by unjung View Post
Knowledge isn't a democratic process.

That is a great quote.
post #13 of 203
Usually, If I see a review where people are complaining about pricing, separate checks, sharing plates and a decent restaurant I am confident that the person doesnt know good food.
post #14 of 203
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnny_5 View Post
Usually, If I see a review where people are complaining about pricing, separate checks, sharing plates and a decent restaurant I am confident that the person doesnt know good food.

+1
post #15 of 203
Perhaps because many, overweighted people with, conflicted self image are, on there.
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