Things you just don't get - Page 302

For an hour or two I kept hearing car horns blaring furiously in my neighborhood. Of course I wondered what the hell was going on. When I drove to the pet store, I saw a bunch of people holding signs that said "Honk if you Hate Heroin" and things like that. When I got stopped at the light, they glared at me because I wasn't honking. I glared back at them as if to say "Why the hell are you holding such a dumbass sign?"

+1000 to them for taking on the pro-heroin lobby!

They were probably funded by a meth PAC

Many of my favourite books have a strong female protagonist. I for one wouldn't support such a misogynistic protest.

You're at the front of the line waiting to merge onto the freeway. You get the green, give it some gas, and whistle up to several mph over the speed limit by the time you hit the freeway, leaving the guy directly behind you half a mile behind. By the time he hits the freeway you're 3/4-1 mile ahead of him. He goes like a bat out of hell to catch up to you and then he rides half a car length off your front fender in the next lane.

WTF? You obviously had to quite a bit faster than me to catch up. Why slow down directly off my front fender and pace me?

s t r e t c h

things I don't get:










I'm certain that if you own a r8, ferrari, lambo, or any supercar in general that you also have another non-supercar in your garage to port your bike with.


Warning: Spoiler! (Click to show)

The answer is, you want chics to know you're not just a rich douchebag, you're a rich douchebag that cycles, dammit.

 

Err, bullshit alert. Snopes is your friend.

I asked my students in Intro Philosophy if they knew the word Gestalt. None of them did, which surprised me. So I wrote it on the board. One kid immediately recognized it, but told me another professor of his always pronounced it ZHEST-elt. Then another kid said yeah, his professor had said it that way at least fifty times this semester. Another student told me her teacher in high school always said that too. What the hell?

Just tell them the point is mute.

Like most Americans, I have three names (first, middle, and last). But I don't use my middle name for much, so for all intents and purposes (or for all intensive purposes, if you will), I have two names. Each has five letters, so it shouldn't be that hard to print or type them in the correct order. And yet I swear people misspell one or both of my names more often than they get them right. I just reviewed a book proposal in which the editors misspelled my first name. I really don't get how that happens so often.

Maybe I should start using my middle name in place of my first, as it only has three letters, two of which are the same letter right in a row. (Oddly, though, my name would sound Chinese if I did that, even though I am not Chinese.)

My middle name is Rebecca and my last name is also a traditional girl's name. My first name is not actually patrick, too. I am two thirds woman based on name alone.

Is your middle name really Rebecca? If that's true, it is one of the coolest things I've heard about this week, maybe this month. It might also help explain the love notes you've been sending me as of late.

This explains SO much...