Things you just don't get



koor said:

Comediennes.......Ellen, Paula Pounstone, Margaret Cho, Chelsea Handler......not funny. (Lisa Lampanelli is amusing, but she's pretty much a man)

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Bonnie McFarlane is pretty funny. And actually Joan Rivers is pretty ******* hilarious in stand up.

This is the worst funeral ever. Why are they not drinking? Why aren't people fighting? How can one expect to get over the loss of a loved one insane booze and fists? Singing isn't going to cut it.



Liam O said:

Tosh is a very out gay nerd with a lame tv show and a bad attitude. He's like Jack, from Will and Grace, but a monster douche.



According to the missus that's a very good thing. He makes girl-crotches soggy.

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harvey_birdman said:

Bonnie McFarlane is pretty funny. And actually Joan Rivers is pretty ******* hilarious in stand up.

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Joan Rivers is great..



harvey_birdman said:

This is the worst funeral ever. Why are they not drinking? Why aren't people fighting? How can one expect to get over the loss of a loved one insane booze and fists? Singing isn't going to cut it.

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Whose funeral? Whitney's?



JayJay said:

Whose funeral? Whitney's?

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Yes.

Also, stop with the sunglasses. They're just going to get broken when you get punched in the face so they better be a cheap pair.

Who the **** claps at a funeral?



harvey_birdman said:

Who the **** claps at a funeral?

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Bobby Brown because he was on the will.

So, the funeral started at noon. It's now 3:12 and the minister has just begun to preach. Why does it have to go on for so long?



JayJay said:

So, the funeral started at noon. It's now 3:12 and the minister has just begun to preach. Why does it have to go on for so long?

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They stopped for lunch or what?

Are you in France or Italy?



lasbar said:

They stopped for lunch or what?
Are you in France or Italy?

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If you attend, you would need to pack a lunch. It's projected to last 4 hours.

By the way, I mean no disrespect in mentioning the length of the service, but I've just never understood multi-hour funeral services. Coretta Scott King's lasted 6 hours, if I recall correctly.



JayJay said:

If you attend, you would need to pack a lunch. It's projected to last 4 hours.
By the way, I mean no disrespect in mentioning the length of the service, but I've just never understood multi-hour funeral services. Coretta Scott King's lasted 6 hours, if I recall correctly.

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6 hours????

I understand the desire of celebrating a life but 6 hours?????

My funeral went about four hours. I eventually got tired of listening to it, so I got up and started living again. Who knows how long it would have gone on?



L'Incandescent said:

My funeral went about four hours. I eventually got tired of listening to it, so I got up and started living again. Who knows how long it would have gone on?

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4 hours funeral?

Do they ask the guests to dig the grave?



lasbar said:

4 hours funeral?
Do they ask the guests to dig the grave?

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No, it was because so many people wanted to come up and deliver impromptu eulogies. Except eulogy is the wrong word, because they came up and spoke ill of me for four hours in a row. I just remember lying there thinking "you wanna speak ill of me, I'll give you something to speak ill about." So I got up and resumed living. I told them I had spoken with the Lord, who told me that he would withhold has salvific grace from those who had spoken words of bitterness and dissension about me. (I did not really speak with the Lord, but they didn't know that. I still haven't told them.)

I have never been sober at a funeral. And I've been to many.