Originally Posted by interlockingny
If the buyer is in the wrong, what does it matter if it will be escalated to a paypal dispute? If the buyer can't prove that they were wronged, they lose. If anything, it would expedite the inevitable. I know people have their gripes about paypal but the 4 times they the buyer (lengthy history) opened a claim/dispute on paypal, I won. Of course, I try to avoid this but in situations such as yours, I invite the buyer do use all means necessary to further prove that they are wrong
Originally Posted by rebel222
Yeah, but he has the coat back. Paypal won't find in the seller's favor if the seller still has the goods.
If he HADN'T sent it back, I would have stuck to my returns policy. By returning it to me (despite not clearing the return in advance; I said I'd only accept the return if the tags showed a 42S not a 42R), he's circumventing that, and stacking things in his favour.
Anyway, in hindsight, my biggest mistake was providing the return address immediately. I should have got him to check the internal tag FIRST.
And only if he outright lied in a crystal-clear manner in his subsequent email to me that it was a 42S based on the tags should I have given him my return address (his first email could be charitably interpreted as him thinking it was a 42S without checking the tags/labels). Then I'd have had a lot more leverage because of his clear-cut lie to refuse him a refund but offer to resend the item if he paid for shipping again.
Oh well, live and learn. Not the end of the world, but an irritating example of what can happen on eBay.