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Is herpes a deal breaker?

post #1 of 91
Thread Starter 
I can't believe I'm asking this.
post #2 of 91
Having never really thought about it before, I guess it all depends on the girl and how serious you are about her.

Assuming of course, that she's upfront with you about it, and it's not a "surprise".
post #3 of 91
Yes, it's pretty much a dealbreaker 99.9999% of the time. I mean Adriana Lima.. and herpes.. hmm
post #4 of 91
Thread Starter 
Hm. I've never really thought about it prior to this because I've considered STDs to be something that don't happen to me...or people close to me. She's attractive and I like her. And she was upfront about it.

I've slept with a couple of people that I regret as well.
post #5 of 91
ya I would take my time with this one. Condoms don't help, right?
post #6 of 91
Condoms do help, but are less than 100%. As I remember it, a little less than a quarter of sexually-active Americans has the herp (percentage rises by generation), many don't know. Physical manifestation is rarely a horrifying ordeal. Deal breaker for a one night stand? Yes. Deal breaker for holy shit she's really awesome this might be going somewhere? Hold off on sex but continue exploring the relationship. Condoms, no sex during outbreaks - you can protect yourself fairly well.
post #7 of 91

Remember that most "Wow, this girl is really wonderful" girls end up as "That bitch was fucking psyco" girls.
post #8 of 91
Type 1 or type 2?
post #9 of 91
Originally Posted by Reggs View Post
Remember that most "Wow, this girl is really wonderful" girls end up as "That bitch was fucking psyco" girls.
post #10 of 91
Some information for you. Herpes is a virus. Once you contract it, you have it for life. When your immune system is weak you can have an outbreak. the outbreak manifest as little vesicles that contain the virus the vesicles break and release a liquid ( this is the virus reproducing itself). Contact with this liquid or the vesicles is very contagious, the broken vesicles leave an open wound than will eventually heal. The virus can't penetrate the skin defenses, so it invades your body through areas where you don't have skin ( mucous tissues like lips and mouth, genitals, eyes, open wounds on skin etc ) There are 2 types of Herpes, Type I appears on the mouth, Type II appears on the genitals. It is in fact almost the same virus, only chaning in terminology according the region where they appear, they are on the same family as Varicella and Zoster viruses. When people have an outbreak it is clearly visible, so it it easy to avoid infection, during that time, and usually if you have vesicles or open wounds on your genitals, you would't have sex during outbreaks. The problems are that the virus is contagious also just before the outbreak. so no visible outbreak yet but the virus is already on the mucous tissues ( genitals, lips etc ), and also many women have the outbreaks inside their vaginas, so they don't even know they are having it. Many think they are just some urinal infection or menstruation pains. Many people who have the virus, contract it usually when they are babies and were kissed by someone with an outbreak, others through sex on those periods when the virus is active. Now. From a medical point of view, the herpes is very benign, it is no different to any other flu. Most people have seldom outbreaks, some have them once a year or every some years, some have it every month. It really depends on how strong is your immune system. Usually the outbreak last some days ( 2 or 3 ) and the wound healing lasts maybe a week, usually it leaves no scar. If you think about it, the common flu works in the same way. You contract it, you carry the virus for life, when your immune system is weak you get a flu, your nose and throat become immflamated, and red because you have the virus active there ( mucous tissues again), and spread it around when you sneaze. Your immune system controls the virus and its gone in some days ( 3 or 4 maybe ). You are only contagious when you are having the flu, not otherwise. The Herpes viruses work in exactly identical way. The only difference is the stigma people attribute to it, because it appears on the genitals and is sexually transmitted ( mucous tissues in contact ). The only real danger this virus presents is when it attacks an immunodefficient patient ( someone with AIDs for example ) or to a baby during the delivery ( the baby hasn't enough defenses to fight the virus at the moment of birth ), in those cases it could attact the central nervous system and lead to death. But the cases are very rare. Dealbreaker ? It depends, as many people said, if it is for a one night stand, and you "know" you don't have it, you better pass. Many people have it but don't know anyway If it is for a relationship with a worthy person, why? Would you dump or pass on a good girl because she has a common flu once in a while ?
post #11 of 91
^good post i say if she's worth it, it's not a dealbreaker now go buy some condoms
post #12 of 91
obviously I wouldn't WANT to get it but when you think about it, it probably isn't really that bad. Additionally, every time you have sex with a new girl you are potentially risking getting it, because she may not know for sure that she has it and it isn't entirely preventable by condoms - the likelihood that anyone has had sex with someone else that had it is very high. So all in all, I'm not too paranoid of it, but obviously if I KNEW that a girl had it, I would have to REALLY like her to take the risk.
post #13 of 91

Throw that fish back in the ocean (but be nice about it - whatever you do don't make it seem like you don't want to pursue a relationship with her just because she has the herp)

There are plenty of girls out there that don't have herpes - you can find one better than this girl who also doesn't have herpes, so it's a win-win. Do you really want to have to explain to every future girl you're thinking about dating that YOU have herpes? There's really no upside here... Move on.
post #14 of 91
Not a deal breaker if you are looking for a long-term relationship. Good luck.
post #15 of 91
Originally Posted by Dewey View Post
Not a deal breaker if you are looking for a long-term relationship. Good luck.

Only works if you plan on marrying the broad.

Once I find out she has the herp, I run in the opposite direction.

As Jinda said, why would you ever want to explain to a great girl in the future that you have the herp? Chances are that "future great girl" won't want to contract it herself and will run far away.
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