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Excellent article on quarter-life crisis - Page 7

post #91 of 128
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stazy View Post
So basically the quarter-life crisis occurs after people graduate from college and realize the following:


I think that this is part of a greater problem in the states


1. the whole market has an inflated sense of their own value, from auto workers to college graduates. what skills and abilities does an average college graduate bring to the market that is worth $60-200K? and why do you think that there isn't somebody better in india or brazil willing to do the same job for 1/3-1/6 of that? for a period of time, americans had an advantage just by being americans- this was the center of the world and it allowed people to earn more just because they were here and spoke the language. we have allowed our position as the center of the world to lapse, and now we have significantly less of an advantage


2. we ambraced the whole idea of raising kids to believe that they were much more special than the really were. if you tell a kid that he is wonderful and special because he can color between the lines, when he is 22 he will think he is wonderful and special because he has a piece of paper from a second rate college.
post #92 of 128
Quote:
Originally Posted by flashback View Post
you really believe that?

I can't stand women in that age range, usually... value-systems & priorities are all fucked up, lack of maturity and experience... girls that age annoy me incessantly.

That is definitely true of most attractive women in the 20-30 age bracket. It's also true of most men in that age bracket, not to sound like a complete chauvinist. I remember being told right here on SF that my priorities should be pussy and partying instead of studying, working and focusing on developing a good career. That said, there are still some good girls left that aren't total bitches/sluts. I know a couple. Neither are white though, so they had parents that actually enforced a positive value system on them.
post #93 of 128
A lot of the comments from the littluns here make me laugh. Since I joined this forum, I am now taking a shit job but it pays well in tips. So financially, I am at a better position than I was a few months ago. Yet, how many people here take widely available jobs for granted, and so a job at McDy's is looked down upon. I will not indulge in cliches but I will just say that reason the youth is so disillusioned with today's economic and political reality has much to do with the loss of appreciation for age-appropriate roles/duties. 12 years old with a child, 47 yrs old woman dreaming of being a singer, and a recent grad expecting 200K+ jobs without any biotchwork. People have every right to dream but the reality is that you should find peace and contentment with the skills that you have, and KEEP IT REAL.
post #94 of 128
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aperipan View Post
A lot of the comments from the littluns here make me laugh. Since I joined this forum, I am now taking a shit job but it pays well in tips. So financially, I am at a better position than I was a few months ago. Yet, how many people here take widely available jobs for granted, and so a job at McDy's is looked down upon. I will not indulge in cliches but I will just say that reason the youth is so disillusioned with today's economic and political reality has much to do with the loss of appreciation for age-appropriate roles/duties. 12 years old with a child, 47 yrs old woman dreaming of being a singer, and a recent grad expecting 200K+ jobs without any biotchwork. People have every right to dream but the reality is that you should find peace and contentment with the skills that you have, and KEEP IT REAL.

Wow, defeatist at 16. Congrats.
post #95 of 128
Quote:
Originally Posted by MetroStyles View Post
Wow, defeatist at 16. Congrats.
He's proud of his job at the car wash.
post #96 of 128
Quote:
Originally Posted by Connemara View Post
He's proud of his job at the car wash.

He's 16 and has a job and is making money. He should be proud.
post #97 of 128
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by kwilkinson View Post
He's 16 and has a job and is making money. He should be proud.

Sure, but he shouldn't be making bold proclamations about adult careers. Besides, having a job at 16 is pretty normal, unless you are some well-to-do spoiled brat.
post #98 of 128
Quote:
Originally Posted by kwilkinson View Post
He's 16 and has a job and is making money. He should be proud.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MetroStyles View Post
Sure, but he shouldn't be making bold proclamations about adult careers. Besides, having a job at 16 is pretty normal, unless you are some well-to-do spoiled brat.
+1
post #99 of 128
Quote:
Originally Posted by MetroStyles View Post
Besides, having a job at 16 is pretty normal, unless you are some well-to-do spoiled brat.

You'd be surprised. I started working at 13, and I was one of the few kids at my school who worked through HS. And rural Indiana isn't exactly home to a lot of spoiled brats.
post #100 of 128
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by kwilkinson View Post
You'd be surprised. I started working at 13, and I was one of the few kids at my school who worked through HS. And rural Indiana isn't exactly home to a lot of spoiled brats.

Ok, well at least working summers in that case. I'm sure most of them did something during the summers for cash by the time they were 16, no?
post #101 of 128
Quote:
Originally Posted by MetroStyles View Post
Ok, well at least working summers in that case. I'm sure most of them did something during the summers for cash by the time they were 16, no?

Sure. But I worked year round. So let me brag, goddamnit.
post #102 of 128
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by kwilkinson View Post
Sure. But I worked year round. So let me brag, goddamnit.

Quite commendable. I was a such a lazy bum in HS that I had a hard time going to track practice after class, let alone working after school. In the summers I did work my butt off though.
post #103 of 128
I'd gladly take a job i didn't like that paid $40-50k at the moment. No? Ok, how bout $35k?
post #104 of 128
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pennglock View Post
There is some serious wisdom in this post. In NYC you cannot get away from the consequences of this attitude. A certain kind of woman who spends her 20s "hooking up," never giving serious consideration of settling down because her group of friends are doing the same thing. They have to experience life! Why would they think of getting married in their 20s? By experience life of course I mean blowing their disposable income on clothes, dining out, and clubbing, little else...

All the while these woman do not realize that the successful men who are true catches are going women in their 20s. What man who has any aspirations of starting a family wants some drying-up 30-something?

I can't think of a much worse spot than being a woman in her mid-30s looking for love. The point being that women would often be better off settling for the best thing they can get while still young enough instead of trying to live out a Sex in the City fantasy. The time for girls to fool around is in their teens and college... after that you'd better be looking for a man and forget this liberated modern woman-of-the-city attitude.

The other side of this coin is the Big-Kid Now man and his girlfriend, the Ring Chaser.

Big Kid Now (or, perhaps, Perma-Adolescent Man) is at least 25, but might be in his early 30s. He is middle class, college educated with a white or pink collar job, still plays a lot of video games, wears faux-retro t-shirts, doesn't own a decent suit (forget real leather shoes), and watches Cartoon Network. He doesn't want to grow up and is a Perma-Teenager, buying all the cool toys that he wanted 10 years ago. He's been dating his girlfriend for at least 4 years, but maybe 6 or 7 or more. There is a good chance they met in college. She wants to get married now, very badly. They are already practically 'settled down'.

What she doesn't realize is that he's a man and relatively happy: he gets to buy all the toys he wants, and he gets steady nookie and has a semi-domestic girlfriend. So he basically has no incentive to marry and there is no social stigma against them cohabitating; he getting lots of extra-marital nookie, and then can trade down in a few years. Under the old-social norms, there was social stigma against a man who deprived a woman of her prime family-formation years, and then jetted. And if they were married early, there would be divorce and a seperation of property. In the new post-feminist, Sex In The City era, there's no divorce, she doesn't get half his stuff, and he can trade down to a younger model when she gets lines around her eyes It's all upside for the upwardly mobile dude, who's likely to age more gracefully and move into higher earning brackets (and thus become equally or more desirable to women).

She doesn't realize it, but she's wasting her prime family-formation or mate-attracting years on him. She either needs to crap or get off the pot (or, as we say, fish or cut bait). But by the time Ring-Chaser finally realizes he never intended to marry her, her upper arms are flabby, she has lines around her eyes, and unless she's a real catch, then there are hundreds more just like her, but 5 years younger and 15 lbs lighter.

At least, this is my theory developed at 2 am over a few beers with a buddy. Feminists, who pushed for the changes that enabled this, in 5 or 10 years will find a way to blame men for it
post #105 of 128
A post secondary degree from a second-rate institution is the new high school diploma. Quarter life crisis... not yet. If the 50 odd cover letters I have sitting on my desk produce nothing this summer, perhaps then. I will hate the following things: - Law firm hiring committees - Life - The economy Guy in that story isn't getting it... grad school, law school... it isn't easy street nor does it put you ON easy street, I'm fighting just to get a spot where I won't feel like I'm wasting my time and I've got pretty good marks. It's always harder than you thought it was going to be.
Quote:
Originally Posted by crazyquik
In the new post-feminist, Sex In The City era, there's no divorce, she doesn't get half his stuff, and he can trade down to a younger model when she gets lines around her eyes
Not to ruin the narrative (and if there's anyone less well read in family law may he raise his hand) but if they're living together and it's basically like marriage aren't they common law spouses, hence doesn't she generally get to take half his stuff?
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