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Why GQ is bad for America - Page 2

post #16 of 31
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We need to get back to a frame of values in this country in which it is acceptable for men to sit for days at a time in their battered recliners, unshaven, guzzling beer from an open can and letting it drizzle down their lips and onto their sleeveless undershirts. American men should be encouraged to go for weeks without shaving and expectorate in public, secure in the knowledge that the size of their 'loogie' will render them irresistable to female passersby.
My neighborhood is filled with men who fit this description. I have dinner with them sometimes. The average PRC male - obviously not including most who have benefited from the economic boom - seems proud of his loogie and sleeveless undershirt. It is almost as if this plot by the Politburo is to punish us for having gone astray from their values. It's interesting that, even in a joke, the Chinese are perceived as such a threat. In fact that huge group of Chinese males in whitebeaters, swilling beer, and spitting also view their country in this way. It think I combine the worst aspects of the macho man and the metrosexual in one. I wear tight clothing, hate beer and like fruity cocktails but I also have the bad habit of making farting noises in public.
post #17 of 31
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I had noted that Malinda had immediately deleted what I presume was the same post over on the Andy Forum. Unless I am missing the mark widely, I presume that the Manly Man's post was meant to be comical and satirical...hard for me to see how anyone could be offended by it.
Doesn't surprise me.
post #18 of 31
I enjoy scratching my stomach and kicking ass as much as the next man, I just prefer to do so well dressed.
post #19 of 31
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Men, I implore you, drink a beer, grab a girl's butt, make fake farting noises, get your ass down to the record store (that's right, no downloading MP3's) and buy an AC/DC CD or better yet a casette tape, wear faded Van Heusen slacks and stop getting your legs waxed.
Would it be Ok if I grabbed a guy's butt instead of a girl's?
Only if you are a professional athlete.
post #20 of 31
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make fake farting noises
Why not REAL farting noises? Also, I think Chairman Mao is dead, but it's been awhile since college, so maybe I'm mistaken.
post #21 of 31
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Steve, From your blog:
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Victory prevailed in the Michael Jackson child molestation case. He was found not guilty. I didn't want to believe that MJ was guilty. Anyone that would do that much for kids and was that sensitive wouldn't hurt a child. I have a little faith in the American justice system again...
I rest my case...Now pick up a 6-pack and some beef jerky, and I mean now.
I'm standing by my opinion.  I don't think MJ is guilty.  Apparently, the jury agrees with me.  The evidence doesn't prove it beyond a reasonable doubt either, which is how we do it in this country, just in case you hadn't heard.  Since you have nothing better to do than to try to defame me with online quotes, here's one I wrote at UrbanPlanet.  I thought I'd save you some time.
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We all know that Michael Jackson has mangled his face, we all know that his skin color has changed. We all know that he's generally a weird dude. None of this is up for debate. But none of that has anything to do with the case as it pertains to whether he molested those kids, though everyone wants to make it that way because they're mad that the 5 year old black boy with an Afro was replaced by a 46 year old white woman with a plastic surgery fetish. How a person looks doesn't make them a criminal. Criminal acts make people criminals. And the proof of crimnal acts beyond a reasonable doubt was not strong enough to convict in this case. There was almost no defense and the prosecution still could not come up with enough evidence to convict him. That mother of the accuser is an oppurtunist and will probably trump up a civil suit just for the money. If Michael Jackson bears blame for what may or may not have happend, then she's guilty, too. Why in the name of good sense and reason would anyone leave their kids with a man that looks and acts like that off in the woods of Neverland? Does the concept of foreshadowing not exist when it comes to situations like that? I personally don't think Michel Jackson is a child molester. He may be a homosexual, and he is a wimp and a mark for paying the first kid instead of going to trial, but I can't see a man doing that to kids that cares so deeply for them. I just can't
I specifically removed the comment feature from my MJ posts at steve's blog because of trolls like you. What any of this has to do with me, my blog or GQ is beyond me.  I'm not gay, I'm not a Michael Jackson groupie, and I don't know you at all.  And I'm not going to get into a flame war with you just because you have nothing better to do apparently. Do us all a favor and take your gay-bashing, conspiricy plot filled head and leave.   
post #22 of 31
Thread Starter 
^You just wait until the Ministry of Culture bans your precious Michael Jackson albums as seditious and claps you into a reeducation camp for 5 1/2 years. You'll rue the day you ever moonwalked when you're dining on ground up corn husks and breaking rock at Laogai.
post #23 of 31
Thread Starter 
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make fake farting noises
Why not REAL farting noises?
Sir, I salute you, and your country thanks you.
post #24 of 31
Quote:
We need to get back to a frame of values in this country in which it is acceptable for men to sit for days at a time in their battered recliners, unshaven, guzzling beer from an open can and letting it drizzle down their lips and onto their sleeveless undershirts. American men should be encouraged to go for weeks without shaving and expectorate in public, secure in the knowledge that the size of their 'loogie' will render them irresistable to female passersby.
I needs Manton to weigh in on these matters. Including, should one coordinate the "loogie" with ones socks? or the flip flops? -
post #25 of 31
Manly Man, Have you ever heard of flouridated water?
post #26 of 31
ROFL
post #27 of 31
Fluoridated water, nothing: what about the vapor trails?.
post #28 of 31
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(JLibourel @ June 18 2005,17:54) I had noted that Malinda had immediately deleted what I presume was the same post over on the Andy Forum. Unless I am missing the mark widely, I presume that the Manly Man's post was meant to be comical and satirical...hard for me to see how anyone could be offended by it.
Doesn't surprise me.
Especially in reading all these posts. I think the decision to delete was ridiculous. Must have run afoul of chapter three of the PC Police.
post #29 of 31
Hahahaha. Good post. Now I need to go find my Mint Mocha Upside-Down Half-Caff Carmel Sprinkeled Soy Latte.
post #30 of 31
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Manly Man, Have you ever heard of flouridated water?
Well, I, uh... I... I... first became aware of GQ's pernicious influence during the physical act of love. Yes, a uh, a profound sense of fatigue... a feeling of emptiness followed. Luckily I... I was able to interpret these feelings correctly. Loss of essence. I can assure you it has not recurred. Women uh... women sense my power and they seek the life essence. I, uh... I do not avoid women. But I... I do deny them my essence.
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