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what to do with mates like this? - Page 2

post #16 of 29
4/23/09 at 11:11am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by MetroStyles View Post
You gotta write these people off. Call them every now and then, but it's up to them if they ever want to stop being little bitches and ween themselves off unhealthy dependence.
That's what I'm seriously considering now, I can't stand wuses. But before that I'd want to teach him a lesson as well. Maybe when he has a party and invites us (although the chance is slim), none of us turns up and give him a bullshit excuse like my gf doesn't let me go out or some shit like that.
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post #17 of 29
4/23/09 at 11:18am
Quote:
Originally Posted by madaboutshirt View Post
To make things clear, we are all professionals with a decent job and gf/wife. FYI, we don't really party anymore, not even BBQs.

I wouldnt want to hang out with you either... Maybe he is out partying and having fun and telling his new friends "man, those guys used to party and we would have BBQs, but now its like they have all changed"

Kidding - I know what you actually meant..

K
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post #18 of 29
4/23/09 at 11:40am
Quote:
Originally Posted by VKK3450 View Post
Back Door

K

Pause




Quote:
Originally Posted by MetroStyles View Post



I don't even understand how women can be happy with a man they can control.


Most of the time they're not. That's why whipped boy usually ends up dumped and cheated on down the line.



Quote:
Originally Posted by madaboutshirt View Post
I don't see how gf and friends are mutually exclusive, I have a gf and I still manage to keep my friends close and they have their gfs as well.

Just a couple of days ago, one of our frds is going away on a world tour, so we decided to catch up at the guy's place and have a drink or two. Anyway, my dear frd in question, as expected, rang up and said he couldn't make it. Why? because he had to finish his gf's assignment for her! wtf? she's got no job and she's got no brain as well? what she does have is a pair of big boobs, and that's about it.

That's incredible. Forget him.
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post #19 of 29
4/23/09 at 12:07pm
Thread Starter 
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Originally Posted by blackplatano View Post
That's incredible. Forget him.
nod nod, fcuk him.
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post #20 of 29
4/24/09 at 2:07am
otoh, he might be getting the best fuck in his life and doesn't need anything other than that right now.
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post #21 of 29
4/24/09 at 2:29am
I wouldn't worry too much about it. She is losing respect for him as a man, which fucks up her attraction to him, since he keeps acting like a little bitch boy. Then she will grow bored of him and go fuck her new man Jody. Following that the break up will happen. Finally you get your boy back. All you really need to do is keep the door open for this fella.
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post #22 of 29
4/24/09 at 3:48pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by clarity View Post
Isn't really an excuse to completely shut his long-time friends out of his life. Unless there's more to it? Maybe the group of friends still party like they're 21?

Yeah seriously for 15 years of friendship, the bros before hos thing applies. I feel like a lot of women don't like to respect friendships like that. Not everyone is as understanding as Rashida Jones in I Love You, Man.
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post #23 of 29
4/24/09 at 4:02pm
Guys, all your bullshit about her losing respect and leaving and that kind of stuff isn't supported by empirical evidence; apparently the relationships that last on average longer are the ones where the woman dominates. Note that it doesn't mean the people in those type of relationships are happy, I certainly wouldn't be.


As for your friend well he knows where to reach you, just check up on him periodically to maintain the relationship and that's it.
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post #24 of 29
4/24/09 at 4:07pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuuma View Post
Guys, all your bullshit about her losing respect and leaving and that kind of stuff isn't supported by empirical evidence; apparently the relationships that last on average longer are the ones where the woman dominates. Note that it doesn't mean the people in those type of relationships are happy, I certainly wouldn't be.


As for your friend well he knows where to reach you, just check up on him periodically to maintain the relationship and that's it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuuma View Post
isn't supported by empirical evidence
Care to share yours?
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post #25 of 29
4/24/09 at 4:43pm
Some people are busy..

It is one thing when he says he will be there and he doesn't come, now that is trash.

It is another thing when he just can't come to many events anymore, this should be understandable for you, girls need to know that you are serious and aren't going to go out partying every night of the week with the guys leaving them at home, possibly cheating on them, etc

Now the fact that you couldn't come over is also trash

Some guys need their balls back.
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post #26 of 29
4/24/09 at 4:56pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by TyCooN View Post
I wouldn't worry too much about it. She is losing respect for him as a man, which fucks up her attraction to him, since he keeps acting like a little bitch boy. Then she will grow bored of him and go fuck her new man Jody. Following that the break up will happen. Finally you get your boy back.
Lawl waht? You mean have dinner with then go home? Why would you want him back? It sounds like you're well past time to write him off. It sucks, but some people turn out to be much less cool than you thought.
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post #27 of 29
4/26/09 at 12:30pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by madaboutshirt View Post
ok, I know its not right to bitch about your mates, but this guy is seriously starting to get on my nerves.

We've known each other since high school, and thats more than 15 years or rather. We've done some wild shit together and always lent a helping hand to each other when needed.

Now, since he's been going out with his gf who is about 5 yrs older than him, he's been completed brainwashed by her! He needs to get fucking approval for everything he does, e.g. going out for drinks, and he's pulled out the last minute on us more than I care to remember.

<edited>

what do I do with this guy, huh? Sometimes I just feel like telling him to fcuk off.

Dude, this is a common strategy employed by a lot of domineering women:

1) Snare the guy
2) Alienate him from all his friends/family
3) Make him on dependent on her

Goal: dominate his life.

Sounds like she's already half way there.

How you want to go from here depends on how much you care about the previous 15 years. Sounds like he's sucked in already and any bitchin' on your part would be taken the wrong way.

So at least tell him you're always going to be there if it all falls apart (bros b4 hos and all that)...but aside from that, you respect his choices. Hey if he's happy being turned into a bitch, then it's up to him.
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post #28 of 29
4/27/09 at 12:07am
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post #29 of 29
5/6/09 at 2:10am
Your friend is possibly a Mama's Boy. And his girlfriend has taken the role of Mama. Your friendship has already ended. You alone cannot keep it alive, if he is unwilling (unable). Before, he took leadership from you. Now he takes leadership from her...and she gives perks. They are a perfect match...for better or worse. She is predator, he is prey. One of two outcomes will occur, and you cannot stick around to find out which: 1) she'll take him for everything he's worth, cheat on him, and eventually leave. or 2) they really are a perfect match in sincerity, and this is going to last a lifetime. If you really need to have your friend, then try to win his girlfriend over....it may be against your morals, but it may be the only way. if it were me, I would move forward, and keep your good memories, because your friends' mind just isn't there for you. I type this from exactly the same experience. Don't waste any more time on it. But no need to become enemies. Just let it drift ...who knows..maybe it needed a rest anyway. All things have their cycles.
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