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what to do with mates like this?

post #1 of 29
4/23/09 at 5:48am
Thread Starter 
ok, I know its not right to bitch about your mates, but this guy is seriously starting to get on my nerves. We've known each other since high school, and thats more than 15 years or rather. We've done some wild shit together and always lent a helping hand to each other when needed. Now, since he's been going out with his gf who is about 5 yrs older than him, he's been completed brainwashed by her! He needs to get fucking approval for everything he does, e.g. going out for drinks, and he's pulled out the last minute on us more than I care to remember. I suspect his gf doesn't like his friends especially me. This one time, without knowing, I tried to crack on her friend purely for some light-hearted fun (she's completely not my type), turned out she's got a husband or some shit. So needless to say, I'm on his hate list. So one time when she hosted a party at her place, he called to invite me over, 5 minutes later, he called back to say I shouldn't come after all, because the girl and her husband will also be over and "they dont like me" wtf? what happened to "bros before whores"? The last 6 months or so the guy is getting worse, to the point where he never bothers to return our calls or text messages. what do I do with this guy, huh? Sometimes I just feel like telling him to fcuk off.
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post #2 of 29
4/23/09 at 6:00am
Maybe he's trying to break up with you gently?
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post #3 of 29
4/23/09 at 6:08am
Thread Starter 
I would have taken it personally if not for the fact that everyone in our circle of friends has also been pretty much treated the same way. The problem is his missus, she can really be a bitch sometimes and now she's completed got his balls in a bag.
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post #4 of 29
4/23/09 at 7:17am
Some guys aren't cut out to be men.

I've got some friends in the situation of your friend. While they are still my friends, I've stopped asking if they want to hang out and what not, but I've always let them know that they can contact me. I think that's the best you could do.
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post #5 of 29
4/23/09 at 7:43am
Quote:
Originally Posted by cheessus View Post
Some guys aren't cut out to be men.

I've got some friends in the situation of your friend. While they are still my friends, I've stopped asking if they want to hang out and what not, but I've always let them know that they can contact me. I think that's the best you could do.

+1. Not much you can do now, its his life... But leave the door open in case he wants to come back.

K
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post #6 of 29
4/23/09 at 8:14am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jekyll View Post
Maybe he's trying to break up with you gently?

+1

He's 30+, give him a break. It sounds like he's done with dicking around and is trying to grow up and settle down. You'll just have to go on without the guy, because given the choice of who to spend the rest of his life with I have the feeling he'd choose a woman (even one his friends don't like) over his high school buddies.
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post #7 of 29
4/23/09 at 9:17am
Quote:
Originally Posted by VKK3450 View Post
+1. Not much you can do now, its his life... But leave the door open in case he wants to come back.

K

No homo.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Threak View Post
+1

He's 30+, give him a break. It sounds like he's done with dicking around and is trying to grow up and settle down. You'll just have to go on without the guy, because given the choice of who to spend the rest of his life with I have the feeling he'd choose a woman (even one his friends don't like) over his high school buddies.

Giving your balls away is not the right way to start a marriage. Also, he doesn't have to be whipped in order to make a relationship last.
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post #8 of 29
4/23/09 at 9:39am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Threak View Post
+1

He's 30+, give him a break. It sounds like he's done with dicking around and is trying to grow up and settle down. You'll just have to go on without the guy, because given the choice of who to spend the rest of his life with I have the feeling he'd choose a woman (even one his friends don't like) over his high school buddies.

Isn't really an excuse to completely shut his long-time friends out of his life. Unless there's more to it? Maybe the group of friends still party like they're 21?
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post #9 of 29
4/23/09 at 10:16am
Quote:
Originally Posted by blackplatano View Post
No homo.


Back Door

K
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post #10 of 29
4/23/09 at 10:41am
Quote:
Originally Posted by madaboutshirt View Post
he never bothers to return our calls or text messages.

what do I do with this guy, huh? Sometimes I just [] like [] him[,] to fcuk[!]

FTFY
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post #11 of 29
4/23/09 at 10:43am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Threak View Post
He's 30+, give him a break. It sounds like he's done with dicking around and is trying to grow up and settle down.

Quote:
Originally Posted by clarity View Post
...Maybe the group of friends still party like they're 21?

Exactly.
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post #12 of 29
4/23/09 at 10:45am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by clarity View Post
Maybe the group of friends still party like they're 21?
To make things clear, we are all professionals with a decent job and gf/wife. FYI, we don't really party anymore, not even BBQs. Yes, we still visit a bar/pub once in a while, something like once every month or even longer. We hardly even get the chance to hangout anymore because simply we all have other commitments. However, to me at least, a friendship which lasted this long is something quite special. I would not give up anything in exchange of it. No one can make me have to choose, not my mother and definitely not my gf.
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post #13 of 29
4/23/09 at 10:51am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Threak View Post
He's 30+, give him a break. It sounds like he's done with dicking around and is trying to grow up and settle down. You'll just have to go on without the guy, because given the choice of who to spend the rest of his life with I have the feeling he'd choose a woman (even one his friends don't like) over his high school buddies.

He is a pussy-whipped bitch, that's what he is. I have friends like this. Settle down with a woman and fall of the face of the Earth. The most important thing in the world becomes staying on her good side. "Men" like that make me puke.

BTW, this isn't sexist. I have a few female friends who are amazing about having a vibrant life completely unrelated to their boyfriend/husband. Like the men bitches, there are female slavewhores that kill their entire social life to "make it work" with their possessive, jealous boyfriend.

You gotta write these people off. Call them every now and then, but it's up to them if they ever want to stop being little bitches and ween themselves off unhealthy dependence.

Quote:
Originally Posted by blackplatano View Post
Giving your balls away is not the right way to start a marriage. Also, he doesn't have to be whipped in order to make a relationship last.

+1000.

Quote:
Originally Posted by madaboutshirt View Post
However, to me at least, a friendship which lasted this long is something quite special. I would not give up anything in exchange of it. No one can make me have to choose, not my mother and definitely not my gf.

I don't even understand how women can be happy with a man they can control. It must be some kind of deep-seated insecurity. I certainly like getting my way with people, but I'm not sure that's the first trait I'd look for in a life-long mate.
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post #14 of 29
4/23/09 at 10:56am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Threak View Post
+1

He's 30+, give him a break. It sounds like he's done with dicking around and is trying to grow up and settle down. You'll just have to go on without the guy, because given the choice of who to spend the rest of his life with I have the feeling he'd choose a woman (even one his friends don't like) over his high school buddies.

I don't see how gf and friends are mutually exclusive, I have a gf and I still manage to keep my friends close and they have their gfs as well.

Just a couple of days ago, one of our frds is going away on a world tour, so we decided to catch up at the guy's place and have a drink or two. Anyway, my dear frd in question, as expected, rang up and said he couldn't make it. Why? because he had to finish his gf's assignment for her! wtf? she's got no job and she's got no brain as well? what she does have is a pair of big boobs, and that's about it.
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post #15 of 29
4/23/09 at 11:05am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by VKK3450 View Post
+1. Not much you can do now, its his life... But leave the door open in case he wants to come back. K
Yes that's good advice, but as one of my frds pointed out, this guy knows we will always forgive him but his gf on the other hand can break up with him and he'd cry like a baby girl. Give you a couple of examples, he'd call to suggest we go fishing but never really says when, or worse suggest a date and never turns up. Also just before public holidays, he'd ring up to ask what you'd do for the long weekend and catch up for a drink. But when you actually call him back to discuss the details, he doesn't return your call.
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