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Friends w/Benefits Situation - probably not worth reading

post #1 of 83
4/20/09 at 2:42pm
Thread Starter 
So essentially I've been porking this lady for the last week and a half who is basically one of my good friends at school. We've both stated explicitly that we're okay with the whole friend with benefits thing, no strings attached. On the one hand, this chick is a little emotional (and by that I mean psychotic in a needy attention mongering way) but on the other, we get along well, I know how to deal with her, she likes teh cack etc etc... Shit gets complicated when a girl I haven't seen in two years sends me a video-chat request on iChat about a half a week ago, and suddenly is a lot more attractive then I remembered her being. Girl from two years ago is now coming to visit (driving down from Jersey to Maryland, definitely sleeping in my room) this weekend. The one caveat to the whole friends with benefits deal with lady #1 was: don't fuck another girl while you're fucking me. Awesome. So now I figure I should just talk to girl #2 and ask her what she thinks is going to happen before I do anything else (ie, tell girl number 1 what will probably go down). I just feel a little shitty about it because I figure the longer I wait to tell girl #1 the worse it's going to be when I break the news. Also, I'm a bit concerned about what will happen after this weekend; I imagine it wouldn't be difficult for lady #1 and I to go back to teh screw, but I guess I don't care about that in and of itself so much as I'm concerned with making this girl feel like shit. Girl #1 knows girl #2 is coming. I suppose she assumes it will just be a "Oh hey old friend!" type thing? Am I being a puss? Should I just man up and do it? Keeping it a secret is not an option, I'd feel too crappy about that. I could just resist the v though I would rather give in as lady #2 is very cute and the last time we had sex her cooter felt like a tight slice of heaven. Although that was two years ago. Thoughts?
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post #2 of 83
4/20/09 at 2:47pm
You're porking a retarded girl?
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post #3 of 83
4/20/09 at 2:48pm
It's not a friends with benefits if you're restricted like you are in this situation. Looks like you have a girlfriend, partna.
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post #4 of 83
4/20/09 at 2:51pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by CTGuy View Post
You're porking a retarded girl?

that is what the title led me to believe, the reality is disappointing.
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post #5 of 83
4/20/09 at 2:53pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by teddieriley View Post
It's not a friends with benefits if you're restricted like you are in this situation. Looks like you have a girlfriend, partna.

this man speaks the truth. do her anyways i mean youre not really in a firm relationship theres enough gray area for it to be quasi-ethical.
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post #6 of 83
4/20/09 at 2:54pm
Too much information is out in the open. You're f***ed. Good luck with the GF tho.
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post #7 of 83
4/20/09 at 2:55pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by edmorel View Post
that is what the title led me to believe, the reality is disappointing.

Sorry boys, but were it this way, the title would not also read "probably not worth reading".
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post #8 of 83
4/20/09 at 2:58pm
This thread is useless without pics...

Quote:
Originally Posted by teddieriley View Post
It's not a friends with benefits if you're restricted like you are in this situation. Looks like you have a girlfriend, partna.

+1, sorta. I dont' think you've got a GF with chickie #1, just that like with all "friends with benefits", it's not really that cut and dry. Basically, girls always want there to be more to it then that, it's just that you've set out the terms in advance that it won't be.

She's probably going to get jealous and angry, it's all up to you as to how you deal with it. I'm no master at the specifics for this type of thing, I think you just need to
1. Decide if you're ok with getting #2 and potentially losing #1, is it worth it
2. Damage control - figure out what (maybe nothing?) to say to #1 to get her back on board. If #1 likes you and what you give her that much, in time I'm sure she'll forgive you. But maybe it'll take some magic words. you could pretend like it's no big deal and ignore it as if you did nothing wrong. Or you can go sissy route and beg and plead and make it up to #1 (ie, she's going to make you jump through a hoop).

I don't really have any great advice for you here bud, sorry. Just thought I'd mention that "friends with benefits" might not be as clear as it seems...
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post #9 of 83
4/20/09 at 3:03pm
I agree with teddieriley. If the relationship is not open, you've got a girlfriend. You nevertheless may be able to utilize the Bill Clinton Loophole. Do the deed with Girl #2 and tell her to leave immediately afterward. When Girl #1 asks you if any hanky panky occurred with Girl #2, you can say with a clean conscience, "I did not sleep with Girl #2."
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post #10 of 83
4/20/09 at 3:10pm
Tell #1 that #2 is coming, but she is going away after the weekend. So it's a one time thing.
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post #11 of 83
4/20/09 at 3:13pm
If it was explicitly agreed that you two are friends with benefits then not only is she out of line by telling you not to sleep with the other woman, but it isn't even her business to know about the visit in the first place.
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post #12 of 83
4/20/09 at 3:15pm
#1+#2 = 3?
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post #13 of 83
4/20/09 at 3:16pm
I had a Special Olympics joke planned out too. Dammit.
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post #14 of 83
4/20/09 at 3:20pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nosu3 View Post
#1+#2 = 3?

Wow, now that's "next level shit" right there... Well played sir, i salute you.
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post #15 of 83
4/20/09 at 3:43pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by teddieriley View Post
It's not a friends with benefits if you're restricted like you are in this situation. Looks like you have a girlfriend, partna.

+1

Friends with benefits is very restrictive thing.

Fuck Buddies on the other hand are no strings attached.

finally, stop putting the pussy on a pedestal. Fuck girl #2, and dont tell #1. Or tell her, and watch what happens. Extra credit will be give if you fuck them both on the same day. Extra extra credit if you fuck them both without a condom on the same day and dont wash off your dick.

My record for 24 hours was 4. and not at the same time. but that was a long time ago.
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