or Connect
Styleforum › Forums › Culture › Health & Body › When does a gentleman fight back?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

When does a gentleman fight back? - Page 2

post #16 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tck13 View Post
I wonder if it's what kind of vibes that one puts out. Other people can "smell" if you're a pushover, doormat, scared, nervous, etc. and they can pick you out in a crowd and they'll fuck with you. But people can also tell if you're not going to mess around and you're assertive. I've noticed that if the latter's the case they'll leave you alone..

That's exacly it. I've learned to walk tall and act assertive even when I feel the total opposite because it is all a matter of perception. However, if you get a guy who carries a weapon or has his pals nearby he will be willing to take more of a risk in challenging you. On the other hand a lot of the bad guys who try to act tough are bluffing as well.
post #17 of 62
I nearly got myself into a tussle last night actually. GF and I went wandering around her area for a late night snack, and some tiny local girl came up to her and asked her for help and pointed to some random guy stumbling around drunk saying that he was following her and she was scared. My gf held her hand and they walked behind me, and the guy kinda started like he was going to say something, get in our faces a little...noticed the size difference between me and him, noticed my basic comfort with the situation, and thought better of it. Backed off kinda whimpering. Pretty pathetic for someone who was intimidating a sub five foot chick 30 seconds before. As a general rule though, I basically never get into fights. I think not getting into fights is a nice side effect of knowing that in most cases, I will probably win them. I think well trained people kinda put out an 'I can handle myself' vibe that others notice and steer clear of.
post #18 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lear View Post
I'm continually finding myself in situations, where I'm left to skulk away like a coward. But it's NOT cowardice! The logical part of my mind is already racing ahead, and I can see before me:

* A call to the police by another member of the public.
* A body slumped on the floor (not mine).
* Me, now being accused, even though I was merely defending myself.
* Hundreds/thousands of pounds worth of clothes possibly ruined.
* Getting carted away to the police cells.
* Getting arrested.
* Having DNA taken and put onto UK database.
* Time taken out of the day.
* Unable to attend event/gathering you were due at.
* If with another civilized individual, you could also cause their day/night/life to be ruined.
* Going to court.
* Going to jail
* Event gets reported in local/national paper


I'm the same way. I never fight because what happens if you knock the guy and he hits his head on the pavement and dies? It's just not worth the risk. I have too much to lose, and more often than not, those that are always trying to pick fights really have nothing to lose.
post #19 of 62
A lot of good advice here. To sum up my opinion, if you have no other choice do not walk away. The reason being is that sometimes perceived weakness/meekness will cause the other individual to press harder. If they put their hands on you, punch them in the nose as hard as you can. It hurts A LOT and causes the eyes to tear up. That gives you a chance to get away.

I also like the advice is that once it has started it needs to be finished quickly. The one who throws the first punch usually wins. At the point of being pressed to fight, it is no longer a game and being a gentleman does not factor into it much. Except knowing when to quit hurting someone. I refuse to kick anyone while they are down or hurt someone needlessly (when they cannot defend themselves).

My advice is that if you are running into these situations often go get some basic training on how to fight. Boxing, jiu-jitsu (incredibly practical), kung fu (wing chun is very good and does not require extreme athleticism), etc. The basic training will give you more confidence in case something like this comes up - you will have some experience and some idea of what to do.

I applaud your good intentions and manners but if there comes a time where you have no choice, it's better to be prepared and somewhat confident.
post #20 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by slider07 View Post
A lot of good advice here. To sum up my opinion, if you have no other choice do not walk away. The reason being is that sometimes perceived weakness/meekness will cause the other individual to press harder. If they put their hands on you, punch them in the nose as hard as you can. It hurts A LOT and causes the eyes to tear up. That gives you a chance to get away.

I also like the advice is that once it has started it needs to be finished quickly. The one who throws the first punch usually wins. At the point of being pressed to fight, it is no longer a game and being a gentleman does not factor into it much. Except knowing when to quit hurting someone. I refuse to kick anyone while they are down or hurt someone needlessly (when they cannot defend themselves).

My advice is that if you are running into these situations often go get some basic training on how to fight. Boxing, jiu-jitsu (incredibly practical), kung fu (wing chun is very good and does not require extreme athleticism), etc. The basic training will give you more confidence in case something like this comes up - you will have some experience and some idea of what to do.

I applaud your good intentions and manners but if there comes a time where you have no choice, it's better to be prepared and somewhat confident.

Don't aim for the nose, aim for the jaw. If you clock someone square on the jaw they will drop like a sack of potatoes.

The jiu-jitsu advice is useful. I took 1 month of it 3 years ago and apparently I absorbed some of it, because it is what got me out of the head-butt situation last summer.
post #21 of 62
Good point - the jaw will drop 'em like a rock.
post #22 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tck13 View Post
This thread is kinda weird. I rarely have these kinds of problems (maybe I need to get out more?). I wonder if it's what kind of vibes that one puts out. Other people can "smell" if you're a pushover, doormat, scared, nervous, etc. and they can pick you out in a crowd and they'll fuck with you. But people can also tell if you're not going to mess around and you're assertive. I've noticed that if the latter's the case they'll leave you alone.

What you referring to here is called the predator prey response. A predator can sense and will act on any perceived signal of weakness with an attack. Likewise they can also sense when their prey will hold it's ground and fight back if it has to. Most predators will pass on this kind of prey and will go hunting somewhere else.

It's all about attitude and composure most of the time.

There are other situations where you'll need some serious skill sets in order to survive but fortunately those encounters are rare.
post #23 of 62
Greetings Lear & gentlemen. Lear, the Al Pacino movie is 'Carlito's Way'. I salute you and all who have the presence of mind & strength of character to walk away. You are correct in saying the evil-doers can sense you. When good energy and bad energy come into contact, one sees the other 100% I am a Christian, and have been persecuted most of my life so far. I have been laughed at, mocked, punched, beaten with fists, boots, sticks, and almost every other thing a person can use as a weapon. I have been spit on, falsely accused, treated like **** all my life. And by the grace of God, I am still standing. The only times I ever used a fist, were in a few occassions where the honour of a woman was at stake. I don't care if I come across as 17th century or not. Chivalry is not dead..not yet I start every day this way, to set my mind for the day. When I wake, I pray; 'I am yours almighty God. Do with me as you wish' From that point to the rest of the day, I will try to use every skill I have to avoid confrontations. Avoid eye contact with creepy people. eyes are magnets. Well...sometimes there's no avoiding it, correct? If & when confrontation strikes, I have a few modest but powerful tools in combat... Example: A physical confrontation whereby I am being threatened with physical violence, I'll say, 'OK Pal...you try any rough stuff...and I am going to BLEED all over you!' and give a wink. Using comedy, it gives the moron a way out of his stupidity without him 'losing face' It has worked 100% You know the 2 old 'rules of arguing with idiots' Rule 1) Never argue with an idiot, because he (she) will only drag you down to his level, and then beat you with experience. Rule 2) Never argue with an idiot, because anyone coming late to the conversation, will not be able to determine which of you is the idiot. Instead, say 'Thank You' aloud, for all to see & hear...that any and all witnesses will see who is the trouble-maker, and who is the gentlemen. Then get the heck away from the evil-doer. Seems like you are a victim of afore-mentioned Rule 2. If you won't mind, I share this with you.... Hostility from the World (the words of Jesus) "If the world hates you, remember that the world hated me first. If you belonged to the world, then the world would love you like it loves its own people. But I have chosen you out of the world. So you don't belong to the world. That is why the world hates you. Remember the lesson I told you: A servant is not greater than his master. If people did wrong to me, then they will do wrong to you too. And if people obeyed my teaching, then they will obey yours too. - John 15:18-20 and these: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...203&version=9; http://www.prayerguide.org.uk/stfrancis.htm God bless all of you who persevere in the face of bad behaviour. It will be by our example, that lost souls are encouraged to become gentlemen. It is our torch to hold high; our time to prepare those who follow in our place. Those who are afflicted need only to be shown the light. It costs us nothing to return hatred with compassion. Peace gentlemen.
post #24 of 62
i try my hardest never to get into fights. and it usually works, but just recently i got into two fights in 1 week. both times i was with friends from boxing, and none of us look like boxers or tough guys etc. we try hard to avoid it but people take that as being weak and continue to bother you. i know they genuinely probably dont want to fight but rather pick on you and make themselves feel better in the end by bullying people.
post #25 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nexus6 View Post
Greetings Lear & gentlemen. Lear, the Al Pacino movie is 'Carlito's Way'. I salute you and all who have the presence of mind & strength of character to walk away. You are correct in saying the evil-doers can sense you. When good energy and bad energy come into contact, one sees the other 100% I am a Christian, and have been persecuted most of my life so far. I have been laughed at, mocked, punched, beaten with fists, boots, sticks, and almost every other thing a person can use as a weapon. I have been spit on, falsely accused, treated like **** all my life. And by the grace of God, I am still standing. The only times I ever used a fist, were in a few occassions where the honour of a woman was at stake. I don't care if I come across as 17th century or not. Chivalry is not dead..not yet I start every day this way, to set my mind for the day. When I wake, I pray; 'I am yours almighty God. Do with me as you wish' From that point to the rest of the day, I will try to use every skill I have to avoid confrontations. Avoid eye contact with creepy people. eyes are magnets. Well...sometimes there's no avoiding it, correct? If & when confrontation strikes, I have a few modest but powerful tools in combat... Example: A physical confrontation whereby I am being threatened with physical violence, I'll say, 'OK Pal...you try any rough stuff...and I am going to BLEED all over you!' and give a wink. Using comedy, it gives the moron a way out of his stupidity without him 'losing face' It has worked 100% You know the 2 old 'rules of arguing with idiots' Rule 1) Never argue with an idiot, because he (she) will only drag you down to his level, and then beat you with experience. Rule 2) Never argue with an idiot, because anyone coming late to the conversation, will not be able to determine which of you is the idiot. Instead, say 'Thank You' aloud, for all to see & hear...that any and all witnesses will see who is the trouble-maker, and who is the gentlemen. Then get the heck away from the evil-doer. Seems like you are a victim of afore-mentioned Rule 2. If you won't mind, I share this with you.... Hostility from the World (the words of Jesus) "If the world hates you, remember that the world hated me first. If you belonged to the world, then the world would love you like it loves its own people. But I have chosen you out of the world. So you don't belong to the world. That is why the world hates you. Remember the lesson I told you: A servant is not greater than his master. If people did wrong to me, then they will do wrong to you too. And if people obeyed my teaching, then they will obey yours too. - John 15:18-20 and these: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...203&version=9; http://www.prayerguide.org.uk/stfrancis.htm God bless all of you who persevere in the face of bad behaviour. It will be by our example, that lost souls are encouraged to become gentlemen. It is our torch to hold high; our time to prepare those who follow in our place. Those who are afflicted need only to be shown the light. It costs us nothing to return hatred with compassion. Peace gentlemen.
Maybe I never get into fights because I'm not religious.
post #26 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nexus6 View Post
Greetings Lear & gentlemen......

Is this guy being serious?
post #27 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lear View Post
The bottom line is: I am simply NOT a fighter, never have been, not that sure I could ever be.




Well the first thing you have to realize and accept is that no matter how civilized you feel you are, you're still an animal. You still have those instincts deep down no matter how "evolved" you are. The fact that you have a little more control over your animal than others doesn't mean it's not there.

And I agree with you that it's almost always best to walk away from a fight. I haven't been in a fight in years. But part of the reason is I'm in touch with my animal, and there's more to it than the physical side. Someone earlier mentioned predators and prey, and there's a lot of truth to that. You don't have to walk around like some kind of cromagnon alpha male, but being in touch with that side of you will give you a better insight into how to handle these things, and people can see that on you before you even open your mouth. And I agree, if you get some training in how to handle yourself physically I think you'll feel even less of a need to want to stand up to these situations. It's sounds backwards, but the more confidence you have in your abilities the less you feel like you need to use them. It's a lot easier to talk your way out of something, kill 'em with kindness, defuse the situation with humor, etc if are doing it with the timing and rhythm of a predator rather than prey.

As long as we're talking about movies there's one I'd recommend, it's called Four Friends and is directed by Arthur Penn. The main character is an American immigrant and deals with something similar in that he's a pacifist and an intelligent guy, but he keeps getting knocked down. Worth a watch I think.
post #28 of 62
All of the talk about how you present yourself - whether you give of the impression of a victim or not is kind of missing the point, I agree with the concept in general but it doesn't really hold true with what Lear is talking about. If I understand him correctly he is talking about violent chavs, a special problem almost unique to the UK as far as I can tell, and you can be as confident as you like but the fact is if you walk past them and you are not wearing a tracksuit and trainers with your tracksuit tucked into your socks, or whatever their local uniform is you run the risk of attracting their attention. They are not looking to rob you (although if you lose a fight with a bunch of them they may rob you), they may be drunk but they are often aggressive even when they are not, they will heckle you, or body-check you as you walk past, more or less regardless of what you look like, if you don't look like one of them. I, a fairly physically slight guy occasionally get stick from them sometimes but just as often so does my shaven headed several hundred pound boxer/martial artist friend and plenty of other tough guys I know, so in fact sometimes does my girlfriend. I have found I get more trouble walking down the street in some English towns than I have done in poor areas of Mexico and Peru, the culture of casual/nuisance violence here has become a real problem. It is not big serious stuff for the most part, just teenagers being dick heads, but it is all the time in some areas, and it is a real pain in the ass. Short of carrying an assault rifle and a sign saying "I kill people" when you walk around you can't avoid this in some areas of Britain now, and it is always better to walk away. The fact is plenty of them act as if they are too stupid to realise the consequences of their actions, even though the consequence might be them getting beaten down. Not all people who look like "chavs" are violent, it is a minority, but a fairly irritating one and unless you have no other option you should not fight, even if you win the fight just by fighting with a chav you have lost.
post #29 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by youngscientist View Post
If I understand him correctly he is talking about violent chavs, a special problem almost unique to the UK as far as I can tell, and you can be as confident as you like but the fact is if you walk past them and you are not wearing a tracksuit and trainers with your tracksuit tucked into your socks, or whatever their local uniform is you run the risk of attracting their attention.

Short of setting fore to the council houses and shooting everyone who tries to escape, how would a good Right-winger seek to solve the problem of the UK's chav lumpenprole?
post #30 of 62
Well I am a lefty, so my solutions are education and so on. I think you covered most of the conservatives policy on the problem actually, apart from that I think the conservative parties ideas mostly revolve around telling them all they should go and get jobs, because that's how they were successful, Eton had nothing to do with it, and national service to help them "build character" Also this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gYD_LLFTQU To be honest I don't think anyone has a good idea, it is not just kids who come from "bad" backgrounds, plenty of them have parents who work and have no idea what little twats their teenagers are when left out on the street, it is a serious problem at the core of our society at the moment, deep selfishness and a casual attitude towards violence. Some sort of national service might not be a terrible idea - so long as it wasn't military national service - and better child care and provision of things for kids to do - youth centres and so on.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Health & Body
Styleforum › Forums › Culture › Health & Body › When does a gentleman fight back?