or Connect
Styleforum › Forums › Archives › Buying and Selling (Archive) › FS: Men's Clothing (Archive) › Unreasonable buyer?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Unreasonable buyer? - Page 6

post #76 of 145
Quote:
Originally Posted by HRoi View Post
i think everything that's been said has been said.

just wanted to reach out to jtoddaz to say that there are ways to send out packages without you ever having to stand in line or even visit the post office (print shipping labels through paypal or usps online, arrange for pickups, etc.).

just trying to be helpful - no sarcasm intended.

True, but if you only sell something once in a blue moon, it's not always practical.
post #77 of 145
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crooow View Post
The one area in which I will agree with the buyer is that the motivations behind the sale (he's a college student, he's cheap, he's using the saved funds to feed starving children in Africa) are absolutely irrelevant; once they arrived at an agreed upon price, that part of the story is over.

I would agree, except that reading the PMs it looks like the price was explicitly tied to the whole "I'll ship today" claim that the buyer is saying he made.

Originally Posted by jtoddaz
Can you do $110? That way that will cover the shipping, and I'll cover the paypal fees, etc..

If so, I'll ship them out today!

Jeremy


The buyer didn't do $110, ergo, there was no agreement to ship them that day. And this is near & dear to my heart, as my first transaction here on SF I almost got into trouble. When I went back and read the messages again, I saw that the buyer was correct in his belief on terms I didn't believe I had offered, and I gave him those terms to be fair.

Brandom
post #78 of 145
To add to the pot: As has been pointed out, a major difference between B&S and ebay is that there is a sense of community here and a level of innate trust. It is why people choose to sell items here, for possibly less than on ebay: less hassle, more trust, possibly even greater appreciation/comprehension of the items being bought & sold. We tend to police ourselves, and if someone fucks up, that person is outed and a kind of tribunal takes place (see: here). Recently, some newbie kid was caught trying to rip off a pair of jeans from a member; the kid was outed, he was tracked down by clever members, threatened with exposure to family & university (where nefarious emails were traced), and eventually he returned the pants to an intervening member. Very efficient. As a seller, I tend to be extremely conscientious, almost overly so, so I can understand the buyer's sensitivity; he is probably the same way. As a buyer, however, I realize that not every seller is as conscientious, or rather, as sensitized to the transaction: it is not the most important thing in the world at that moment to them, but it will be dealt with and usually fairly efficiently. People have lives, and sometimes those lives become hectic. As the seller, in this case, I probably would have emailed the buyer asap that I was unable to send it that day, but for sure would go out next day. Nip it in the bud, as it were. Allow me to cite a recent experience I had here with a seller, that illustrates what I mean about trust and community. I purchased a pair of pants from said seller during a recent "frenzy", did not hear back for a while, then when I did get a response there was some apparent confusion. Next response was also a long time coming (fyi, I'm talking weeks, not hrs or days), with added confusion. At this point I began losing my patience (which I have a fairly good reserve of) and sent seller a brief, pointed but not nasty message. Said seller apologized profusely, explained that he had been extremely busy and somehow my order had gotten lost in the mix. His resolution for the faux pas: he sent me the pants, and also refunded my payment. That's what I'm talking about. In a similar situation, I'd probably have done the same, though there was certainly no rightful expectation or mandate to do so. I doubt you see much of this type of interaction on teh 'bay.
post #79 of 145
Once again. 1) I wasn't unhappy that he didn't send out the first day. I was unhappy with his attitude when I followed up. 2) You need to read posts/email chains in context. I can pull out sentences to make the pope look like an ass. 3) Tone of speech on emails is completely lost. BOLD/CAPS signify THE SIGNIFICANCE OF A sentence/word of value, not necessarily like I;m "Yellin," PULLING OUT MY HAIR, and pulling a chris brown. Please keep that in mind as you read on. 4) When I buy something from you (and yes, I get it, I won't be doing so from many of you) ALL I EXPECT is 5) Why is a buyer not entitled to be unhappy when he/she feels neglected? Jee SUS. H. I felt he was being a dick, I don't know who the F*** he is, I needed to make sure that he wasn't a flake. I sold something worth $1200 to someone and it took two weeks for him to receive it. Still, he was very kind and happy about the sale. --wow, this really sucks. I have no interest to do any kind of bidness with folks like this. Thanks for not selling me anything. Way to go. Lets try something new: From here on out, the seller sends the item BEFORE the buyer paypals. Since everyone is so trusting, friendly and kumabya, send your item first, and then i'll paypal. I promise I will not ever bug you about the item and happily prance to my computer to paypal afrter I receive. @ FStyles: You are an ASSHOLE! I'm not jumping on any bandwagon, people around here don't tend to unless it's Hugo Boss hate, I'm just calling it as I see it. Thanks.
post #80 of 145
The buyer should learn from his mistakes and learn to be patient.
post #81 of 145
And I must admit, I thought there would be a lot more empathy from other buyers on this board. Why not maintain an environment where SELLERS are held with some kind of expectations? Why should the fact that he's an individual seller with a life as opposed to Neiman deflect the fact that he needs to follow through? Possibly if it's your buddy you've done transactions with before. But 1st tiem around? hardly. "oh this board is like a family, we're all great people, rah rah SF." And from the bottom of my heart, to all the elitists who talk shit about not having much money, bargaining, yadda yada, I love you.
post #82 of 145
Quote:
Originally Posted by srivats View Post
The buyer should learn from his mistakes and learn to be patient.
Patience is not my problem. My problem is not being able to deal with flaky people who give excuse after excuse, and are arrogant when you follow up when they should be.

Be a man. Follow thru with what you say. If you can't, don't give me a bunch of excuses. I really can't stand excuses whatever they are.

When someone gives you money, they are taking a REALLY big blind leap. Make them feel like you actually give half a shit.
post #83 of 145
Quote:
Originally Posted by angusangus View Post
Maybe I'm missing something, but I though the seller's PMs were completely courteous, polite and informative.

As I see it, the issue/lesson here is this:

DON'T IMMEDIATELY ASSUME THE WORST ABOUT SOMEONE.

A lot can be lost or misinterpreted through the typed word.


Wow, funny how hindsight is 2020. anyone ever start to think about the context of my messages to him?M
post #84 of 145
FStyles,

It is clear that your intentions aren't bad, nor are you an asshole. The issue is that it was you that escalated the "tone", in the email included in the original post of this thread, because you assumed some condescension. I couldn't read that in any of the sellers messages. You also were very hasty to start worrying if the seller was a "flake". Sending multiple messages hounding the guy within one day of payment for some sort of proof of shipment is just paranoid.

If you had waited a week and still could not get a clear message from the seller that he had sent your items then you would probably find that most of us on this forum would be fully supportive of you.

And don't worry about making a bad first impression here...some of our most illustrious members started with a bang and not a whimper. Welcome to SF!
post #85 of 145
Quote:
Originally Posted by srivats View Post
The buyer should learn from his mistakes and learn to be patient.

I was just about to add (and will):

FStyles, perhaps it is in part attributable to your relative youth, but without acquiring a certain degree of patience (even towards someone you feel is not being as thoughtful as they should be), you will find yourself frequently frustrated and disappointed in life.
post #86 of 145
I'll give the buyer a chance with my stuff. One time only.

But you got to buy it when my market price is at highest closing.
post #87 of 145
Seriously, if you are so uptight about transacting with people you've never met on a message board, you need to stop buying stuff on SF and stick to big corps and B&M stores. I'm really trying to empathize with your issues and don't like to see well-intentioned noobs driven away from SF for early mistakes but if you can't handle the lack of immediate response, follow-up, shipping, service...from a seller and be more trusting, just find another place to buy stuff.
post #88 of 145
OK, I'm really tired. I'm done. Ready. Ban as you wish. I'll be the sacrificial lamb for all the disenfranchised buyers who felt the seller was being a dick, and didn't say anything cause they didn't want to be crucified. Frankly, I don't know any of you, and life goes on.Again, sad to see it go as this board rocks, errrr rocked, but it is what it is. Good luck to all of your buying and selling endeavors. Next time you do something just remember: "What would Style Forum do?"
post #89 of 145
Quote:
Originally Posted by FStyles View Post
OK, I'm really tired. I'm done. Ready. Ban as you wish. I'll be the sacrificial lamb for all the disenfranchised buyers who felt the seller was being a dick, and didn't say anything cause they didn't want to be crucified.

Frankly, I don't know any of you, and life goes on.Again, sad to see it go as this board rocks, errrr rocked, but it is what it is.

Good luck to all of your buying and selling endeavors. Next time you do something just remember:

"What would Style Forum do?"

Ban? What the hell are you talking about? This is a discussion...stop being so melodramatic.
post #90 of 145
Quote:
Originally Posted by FStyles View Post
And I must admit, I thought there would be a lot more empathy from other buyers on this board.

Why not maintain an environment where SELLERS are held with some kind of expectations?

Why should the fact that he's an individual seller with a life as opposed to Neiman deflect the fact that he needs to follow through? Possibly if it's your buddy you've done transactions with before. But 1st tiem around? hardly.

"oh this board is like a family, we're all great people, rah rah SF."

And from the bottom of my heart, to all the elitists who talk shit about not having much money, bargaining, yadda yada, I love you.

I think your query gets to the nub of the point. I write as a frequent buyer and not as a seller (cannot be bothered so far). This is a buying/selling board on a hobbiest forum - virtually all the sellers are selling as a sideline and often to help out fellow forumites. For example, some members will hit an amazing sale, pick up a couple of extra items, and then sell here at a level that covers postage and maybe a small profit. Jamison (Chorse) is a great example. The few professional sellers (e.g, FIHTies) have webpages and adhere to web merchants practices or better. Hence, inasmuch as this an enthusiasts' site, there tends to be an understanding that we will do not expect the seller to be, for example, Neiman Marcus or Brooks Brothers.

In reviewing the posts, I could find nothing that would have caused me to feel that I had been treated poorly if I were the buyer. If I truly needed the item by a particular date, I would have so indicated and offered to pay for overnight UPS or FedEx. In this case, I fully understand why the seller may have delayed shipping by one day, I also think his response explaining why was appropriate since it put into context that circumstances intervened. Moreover, the amount of time elapsed for him to tell the buyer was not per se unreasonable.

In short, I think the buyer's problem here is one of unreasonable expectations. I do not wish to engage in any of the name calling that has occurred as it is not appropriate, but I do think buyers and sellers need to adjust somewhat expectations for the venue in which they find themselves - this is an amateurs forum for the most part. Finally, inferring attitude frequently leads to unhappiness. As I get older, I prefer to assume that the other person is not showing attitude in the absence of pretty clear evidence - it leads to a longer, happier life.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: FS: Men's Clothing (Archive)
Styleforum › Forums › Archives › Buying and Selling (Archive) › FS: Men's Clothing (Archive) › Unreasonable buyer?