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Patrick Bateman's Morning Routine ...

post #1 of 25
Thread Starter 
I'm just watching American Psycho for the third time (bored and doing laundry on a Tuesday, woo), and I was wondering if PB's morning routine is common, or really just parodied for the film.

Sorry if this sounds like a stupid question but I'm from Ipswich, in SE Queensland, Australia. Guys who use facial products or care about their appearance are either gay or bisexual, by popular opinion, and there's not many people I can talk to about this sort of stuff without getting odd looks and guffaws.

(Sort of transcribed here for comparison)

Quote:
In the morning if my face is a little puffy, I'll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now.

After I remove the ice pack, I use a Deep Pore Cleanser Lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub.

(Out of the shower)

Then I apply an herb mint facial mask which I leave on for ten minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an aftershave lotion with little or alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out, and makes you look older.

Then moisturiser, then an anti-ageing eye balm, followed by a final moisturising protective lotion.

On a side note, I recognised the L'Occitane bottle in the shower - I use the Grapeseed scrub soap after work (TA with Stainless Steel and Aluminium) and the Sandalwood soap on weekends or just having a relaxing shower, Cade Hair and Body gel, BAVX deodorant stick, and the Vetyver Eau de Toilette (I like the woody smells).

Anyone who's seen the movie recognise any products in their own bathrooms?
post #2 of 25
I dont think people go to the extremes PB does in AP. But clearly the people in Ipswhich SE Queensland are pretty homophobic, using a mosturiser on your face protects it like suncream protects your back in the sun! hehe. Obviously! you dont have them opinions!
post #3 of 25
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by MLIW View Post
I dont think people go to the extremes PB does in AP. But clearly the people in Ipswhich SE Queensland are pretty homophobic, using a mosturiser on your face protects it like suncream protects your back in the sun! hehe. Obviously! you dont have them opinions!

The history is predominantly mining, both inside the town and in the surrounding environs amidst the farms, whereas today it's mostly steel and heavy metals, secondary and tertiary industry.

Funnily enough, back when Ipswich was in full swing as a mining town in the late 1890's, early 1900's, we had a tailor on Nicholas Street - as far as I can tell, the street was named after Mr Nicholas and Sons - but today the best we had was Fletcher Jones, which left a few months ago after only being open for maybe 8, 12 months at Riverlinks.

It's not really homophobia as such. Most people around here make jokes and poke fun, but they do that about everything, including each other. It's enlightenment, based on crass jokes and a sense that the whole world would be fine if everyone just did a hard day's work - "If you ain't sweatin', you ain't workin'."

I'm breaking out of the mould by focusing more on personal development, taking little tips from here, there, anywhere that seems to take the self a little more seriously than just a hot meal heaped on a plate and a hot shower after work.

At the moment my morning routine is getting up at 3:30 am, barely reading the news, slapping on some deodorant, and getting dressed for work as an Assistant Tradesman, and although the job is completely boring, it has given me one particular gift which I think will come in handy when I go back to a nine-to-five job again - I can't sleep passed dawn, so that will give me plenty of time to have a morning routine, especially in the Summer when the sun gets up at around 5 am.
post #4 of 25
American Psycho taught me how to shave. His routine is much more extensive in the book.
post #5 of 25
seems like using a face scrub that often would fuck yo shit up after a while. i just use kiehl's facial fuel daily and then some l'occitane bark scrub every couple of days. there's some l'oreal hydra power lotion thing i use after i shower so my shit doesn't dry out.
post #6 of 25
Why are people so obsessed with this character?
post #7 of 25
That's the paradox of the novel. Superficially Patrick Bateman is everything everyone wants
post #8 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Teger View Post
American Psycho taught me how to shave. His routine is much more extensive in the book.

+1 read the book
post #9 of 25
Scrubs are so last year...it's all about chemical exfoliation.
post #10 of 25
His morning routine, funny as it is, is bullshit. Sorry, but cetyl alcohol is not bad for your skin. Foolish to think that there are ANY skin care products out there containing isopropyl alcohol which will dry out the face. It will, but no one uses it in products, only cetyl alcohol, which is fine. Actually cetyl alcohol is unsurpassed as far as delivering moisture to the skin, which is why aftershave splashes with tons of alcohol rock for razor burn and moisturizing.
post #11 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by javyn View Post
Actually cetyl alcohol is unsurpassed as far as delivering moisture to the skin, which is why aftershave splashes with tons of alcohol rock for razor burn and moisturizing.

Fatty alcohols like cetyl alcohol are completely different than the denatured alcohols usually found in aftershave splashes. Cetyl alcohol is very moisturizing, but any denat. or sd alcohol is quite drying and a skin irritant.
post #12 of 25
post #13 of 25
His evening routine is the real deal.
post #14 of 25
On Mondays I begin my routine with a cleanser gel in the shower, followed by a scrub gel, afterwards I apply a moisturizing facial mask which I leave on for about 10 minutes. I end the 'routine' with a moisturizer. I only use an under-eye balm to prevent eye bags.

I guess it's kinda AS but it works for me. And for those of you who haven't read the book, do it.
post #15 of 25
Of course his morning routine is absurd. Of course it's inaccurate under close examination. That's the whole point of the novel! He brushes his teeth three times for godsakes. One of the recurring themes is that the outside, admirable veneer of his life breaks down under scrutiny. At first you're both amazed (and a bit jealous) of his good looks, his knowledge of facial and hair products, his ability to maintain a perfect physique, but then, when you closely examine the actual routine he describes, it doesn't even really make sense. That's why there's pages devoted to him getting ready, and in transferring this part to the movie the whole point of the scene was neutered.

It's not about him being so good looking, it's about him being a sociopathic narcissist who is describing a fantasy world. He's an unreliable narrator so you never know how he TRULY looks - is he really that buff, that good looking, or are those qualities (like, later in the novel, his murders) really projections, attempts to escape the confines of his boring life?
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