Styleforum › Forums › Lifestyle › Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel › Winning her back
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Winning her back - Page 3

post #31 of 45
2/15/09 at 7:02pm
If you chase her, and she's not into it, you will only push her away.

Leave her alone for a moment.

I had a girlfriend for a few years in college, and she broke up with me, and I was devastated. I got over it, and about a year later, we started meeting up every once in a while. We would go out on a date, do the nasty (and I mean Nasty!), and go back to our merry lives (which were completely different lives at that point). It was beautiful. I always figured that i'd marry her, but it didn't work out quite that way. We'll always be friends. And we're ok with that now. Life goes on.

You said that you're in your twenties?

Sow your wild oats. Go out and have some fun. Be the man you always wanted to be. You'll be able to figure things out later. It will all come into place if its meant to be.

Someday, you'll be an old man like me, with three kids and a nagging wife, scouring style forums trying to figure out how to use a pocket square as a perfect complement. And I'm 28.

The grass is always greener on the other side.

(and remember, NEVER ask her about her sexual escapades. It will eat you alive forever.)

Good luck
Reply
Reply
post #32 of 45
2/15/09 at 9:10pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by freefinancialadvice View Post
(and remember, NEVER ask her about her sexual escapades. It will eat you alive forever.)

Good luck

Straight talk.
Reply
Reply
post #33 of 45
2/15/09 at 9:33pm
Thread Starter 
Its torture knowing about one, Its even more torture knowing how big of a loser he is.
Reply
Reply
post #34 of 45
2/16/09 at 3:57pm
You don't deserve her, and you don't really realise the extent of the damage you have done/are doing. My (now dead) wife did this to me. She always seemed stable, and quite honestly a lovely girl, who I still feel love for. One day she got into trouble, her family were not pleased with her, she started confiding in me to an extent where I had to make the decisions for her life. I did not want to, nor did I think that I had the capability to make these decisions, until this point we'd been quite autonomous in our own lives. I'd screwed up a couple of times in my life, but I just dealt with it, nobody I knew would be the wiser, and quite honestly I had no clue how she should deal with it, but I had to be the man, and I put up a front and gave her the advice she wanted. She took a turn in her sleep, cut me off for a couple of weeks, the came back to me. Someone said something to her, tipped her over the edge and she committed suicide. You need to learn to deal with things, and not drag other people into your problems. I was dragged into her problems, because I'm not God, and did not know how to sort it out, I lost someone I love a lot. Unfortunately, all the comments about about you being self-centered and childish are true. Even if I'd do anything to bring her back, what she did was selfish, stupid and immature.
Reply
Reply
post #35 of 45
2/25/09 at 5:15am
Quote:
Originally Posted by freefinancialadvice View Post
If you chase her, and she's not into it, you will only push her away.

Leave her alone for a moment.

I had a girlfriend for a few years in college, and she broke up with me, and I was devastated. I got over it, and about a year later, we started meeting up every once in a while. We would go out on a date, do the nasty (and I mean Nasty!), and go back to our merry lives (which were completely different lives at that point). It was beautiful. I always figured that i'd marry her, but it didn't work out quite that way. We'll always be friends. And we're ok with that now. Life goes on.

You said that you're in your twenties?

Sow your wild oats. Go out and have some fun. Be the man you always wanted to be. You'll be able to figure things out later. It will all come into place if its meant to be.

Someday, you'll be an old man like me, with three kids and a nagging wife, scouring style forums trying to figure out how to use a pocket square as a perfect complement. And I'm 28.

The grass is always greener on the other side.

(and remember, NEVER ask her about her sexual escapades. It will eat you alive forever.)

Good luck

This is great advice. I agree with everything with the exception of "The grass is always greener on the other side". You just got to learn from what you did and not make the same mistake. Having this mentality will derail your future relationships.
Reply
Reply
post #36 of 45
3/30/09 at 7:02pm
Leave the girl alone.

I'm 22 and went through a similar situation with a girl I had been with for 4 years. I was very unhappy and in a fair amount of debt. I shut her out and all my family. I started drinking heavily and doing drugs and I put on a lot of weight. I pursued this girl endlessly and made life pretty difficult for her.

I had an epiphany after waking up in a cell. It has taken 3 years for me to get my life back in order repairing relationships with friends and family but mainly with myself. I now have a good job and have quit all drugs and severely cut down my drinking. I am now competing in sports at a level higher than I was before. I have learnt new things and fulfilled some of my dreams.

I recently saw this girl again and realized three things. Firstly how much of an arse I'd been. Secondly that even though we have been talking often and are getting closer to get back with this girl would only bring up the demons from my past. Thirdly and most importantly how far I've come and yet I'm still single and still want to concentrate on bettering myself.

You are both young and enjoying yourselves and growingnot looking to the past. And 2 months is not enough time to do that. To get back with her so soon will only blow up in your face again.
Reply
Reply
post #37 of 45
3/30/09 at 8:40pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by theber View Post
I had an epiphany after waking up in a cell.
Ah, if I had a dollar for every time...
Reply
Reply
post #38 of 45
3/31/09 at 12:58pm
Thread Starter 
Something is definitely going on at a higher level because a few days ago I started thinking about all of this and then this thread popped up again. This is really good advice. I recently saw her when I was out shopping and I just let her be. I was talking to her on her birthday and we got into an argument about things and I decided to just let her do her own thing for a while and realize what she wants to realize. I really don't understand what she's up to, to tell the truth. She's really sort of turned into someone I don't recognize, she's going out all the time, she got a nose ring, she's sort of rekindling things with exes from high school era. I really want to move forward in my life. I'm in professional school and I don't have time to worry about petty things in my life and people who don't necessarily care about me. Thank you for your advice. I'm trying to better myself day by day and right now it seems to be working.



Quote:
Originally Posted by theber View Post
Leave the girl alone.

I'm 22 and went through a similar situation with a girl I had been with for 4 years. I was very unhappy and in a fair amount of debt. I shut her out and all my family. I started drinking heavily and doing drugs and I put on a lot of weight. I pursued this girl endlessly and made life pretty difficult for her.

I had an epiphany after waking up in a cell. It has taken 3 years for me to get my life back in order repairing relationships with friends and family but mainly with myself. I now have a good job and have quit all drugs and severely cut down my drinking. I am now competing in sports at a level higher than I was before. I have learnt new things and fulfilled some of my dreams.

I recently saw this girl again and realized three things. Firstly how much of an arse I'd been. Secondly that even though we have been talking often and are getting closer to get back with this girl would only bring up the demons from my past. Thirdly and most importantly how far I've come and yet I'm still single and still want to concentrate on bettering myself.

You are both young and enjoying yourselves and growingnot looking to the past. And 2 months is not enough time to do that. To get back with her so soon will only blow up in your face again.
Reply
Reply
post #39 of 45
4/1/09 at 7:23am
I don't think you can make someone fall back in love with you if they still hold onto hurt feelings regarding you. Moving on and taking care of yourself should be your first thoughts anyways, if at one point she thinks of you differently I'm sure she'll let you know by calling you up or showing up somewhere you frequent. Who started the argument on her birthday, her?
Reply
Reply
post #40 of 45
4/1/09 at 11:15am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liam View Post
I don't think you can make someone fall back in love with you if they still hold onto hurt feelings regarding you. Moving on and taking care of yourself should be your first thoughts anyways, if at one point she thinks of you differently I'm sure she'll let you know by calling you up or showing up somewhere you frequent. Who started the argument on her birthday, her?

I called to wish her a happy birthday and she started the argument saying talking about how she didn't understand what I was doing and this and that. I was simply being nice and sending her a birthday card. She had talked about going out for dinner sometime and I basically left it at that. She always was a bit of a hair trigger and since the breakup whenever we talk it goes from very lovey to pissed off very quickly. I think she is getting a lot of recommendations and crap from her friends about me although they have no idea what the situation is and they keep hooking her up with loser guys who they think will satisfy her which I think is incredibly interesting. I also think she is confused because I believe her parents want us to get back together. This whole thing just sucks and it continues to suck for me on a day to day basis, oh well..........
Reply
Reply
post #41 of 45
4/5/09 at 6:55am
See, that right there tells you she's still angry at you no matter how she tries to hide it from you it is going to come out. You can still be a friend to her and care about how her life is going but in no way ever comment on the losers she's been going out with.. And if you think her parents are on your side you know that stings her too and will add to her attitude towards you.
You made a nice effort to show her you still care about her on her birthday and leave it there for now. She has your number etc, let her reach out to you next time, okay?
Reply
Reply
post #42 of 45
4/6/09 at 1:18pm
Thread Starter 
Thats the plan my friend, its time for me to move on and make myself happy, if she needs me, she knows how to get in touch with me.
Reply
Reply
post #43 of 45
4/6/09 at 1:52pm
Just get over it. Go out and have fun.
Reply
Reply
post #44 of 45
4/6/09 at 5:10pm
"There are only two reasons to date a girl you've already dated: breast implants." - Barney Stinson
Reply
Reply
post #45 of 45
4/6/09 at 5:21pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nahmeanz View Post
"There are only two reasons to date a girl you've already dated: breast implants."
- Barney Stinson

+1!
Reply
Reply
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
Styleforum › Forums › Lifestyle › Social Life, Food & Drink, Travel › Winning her back