Winning her back

Well if she stated to you that she's happy being single, maybe you should just get on with your life? Not to be mean, but what are you really trying to accomplish?

Why do you think it's BS? Also, she hasn't 'just forgotten' you, so why are you bringing that up? And what is that you want at this point?

maybe she really is just enjoying not having to worry about you.

Its rough to be around someone who is very depressed, it probably ruined her christmas and she probably wants to be left alone for a few months.

My advice would be to let her be, see some other people, and if your both in a better frame of mind in a few months, maybe ask her to dinner.

Sometimes with women the best way to get them back is to let them go.

Being on the receiving end, I can say it's not BS. My last ex, who is currently seeing someone else, confessed that she misses having me as her bf last night. I guess this current guy isn't as good as I was. She also said she regrets breaking up with me and all that. She did it because, just like you, she had to figure things out on her own. She also cut me off from November, until nowish.

May not be 100% the same, but I would like to think I have something worth mentioning. You're right, she's thinking there's that chance that it could happen again. You say you need to figure yourself out, and break up with her again. I feel the same way toward my ex.

But that's not really the big thing. Personally, I do feel quite liberated not having to worry about someone. I'm in my 20's and enjoy being single (can I have her number - jk), despite how great everything was, how happy we were, I'm happy now.

What you may not fully understand, is what she had to go through. I don't think I could ever convey how bad it was for me to my ex. What's a world without consequences? Although you may be forgiven, it's not something that can be forgotten, and probably will never be forgotten. You may say you understand, you may cry, say how hard it was for you. It's not gonna convince me, or her.

During that cut off, whenever I thought about my ex, it would be of the times we were together. Slowly over time, it faded. Now when I think of her, it's of when she said we can't see or talk to each other. If she had started talking to me again sooner, it would've been different.

If you really want her back, the only thing you can do is make new memories, but only as friends. Don't try to force anything. I don't want her to talk about the idea of getting back together or try to be romantic to me. All that would do to me is annoy me and think it was a bad idea to reconnect. If I'm willing to get back together, I'll bring it up.

That being said, I think it's a bad idea for you to "win her back." Just be there for her, and be her friend. She really isn't asking for much. Whether you two, or me and my ex, get back together, only time will tell.

(Coming from a non-expert, but then, who is?) Probably good advice to others not to shut someone out like that. If you were having a crisis, you should have asked for help and support from her. After all, once you're married, it's harder to take breaks. Obviously your issue wasn't that significant. Generally, I would think that at this point, it's over. However, given the time involved, and that you were going to get married, perhaps you should just go very slowly, and let her move things forward. Keep other doors open in the meantime, and if you never get back together with her, don't let it eat at you for the rest of your life. As for you, I would say, run away. What's done is done (obviously, I would think this would be the best course of action for JPY's girl as well).

To the OP, she told you shes torn apart with this so shes probably confused and scared.

My guess is shes adapted to single life and is having a bit of fun, but thats not satisfying her completely so its a struggle for her.

I say hang around, dont demand immediate answers and that she comes back to you, leave her a bit of space but return to being close, and things may fall into place.

Sage advice, minus the internet spelling : )

The best way to "win her bacK" is to not try that at all and instead, look at making serious and lasting improvements to yourself. Do things you've wanted to before but are afraid to try, learn new things, experience the world differently. The reason this would work is that it demonstrates to her that you're a mature, growing individual with potential to do great things and change. In short, you become much more manly and attractive again. Actions speak a whole lot louder than words. When you talk to her, avoid the serious relationship talk and instead discuss the new things you are doing or how you're changing for the better. Ask her if she'd like to try dating again in the near future, as a way of bridging being single and being in a relationship.

This person has been in relationships for a long time and has been with you for five years. Doesn't it seem normal that she'd want to experience her 20's while she still can? You should structure your life regarding her to having her think "wow, [OP] is really going places and I'm going to lose out on something major in my life if I pass him up."

If all this fails, at the end of the day, at least you've made improvements and inroads to growth for yourself.

You best do the same, my friend. She's having fun with her new friend, Jody.

Jody is refers to a man (often another soldier)who sleeps with other military men's wives/girlfriends while they are gone (deployed, TDY, etc).

The term "Jody" comes from the song "Jody's got your girl and gone" by Johnnie Taylor.

and/or the movie:

Don't forget, you did break up the engagement.

How did she take that? Not well I presume.