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Voxsartoria's Weekly WAYWRN Subjective and Totally Unfair Digest - Page 43

post #631 of 2153
Thread Starter 
WAYWRN Looks Gone Wrong: Photographs Cropped to Protect the Guilty™
Issue 3: April 2009


Welcome to the third issue of WAYWRN Looks Gone Wrong: Photographs Cropped to Protect the Guilty™. In this little corner of the Internet, we good naturedly examine some of the wrong turns, dead ends, and over the cliff sartorial trips made on the WAYWRN thread of the Men’s Clothing sub-forum of StyleForum. Most WAYWRN photographs crop the head to protect the innocent; here, we crop more to protect the guilty.

In this issue, we look behind the clothes. The attitudes. The lifestyle. The evolution. The women.


The Nip



"I got your nip right here, bra." That's right...the job interview is not going well, apparently. Poor economy and all that has increased competitiveness. WAYWRN noncomformists? Your chances are zero. But WAYWRN posters do not admit defeat...no, if you are not going to hire me, you're going to get The Nip. And when you do get The Nip, naturally, I am going to photograph it and post it on the Interwebz.


How Did WAYWRN Man Get Here?

Hand of God? Au contraire. The photographs show the painful process of evolution.

Horse (equus):



Man (homo sapiens):



WAYWRN Man (closeted homo sapiens erectus):






The Women of WAYWRN

Left to right: (left) Oh, no, no, NO! (center) Maybe, pending booty shot (right) Absolutely not, even for money, booze, or stackable Siera Trading Post coupons.



"Scusilo, signora, per il lancio del piatto di spaghetti al vostro fronte."



What you gonna do? You want to get down?
Tell me
what you gonna do? Do you want to get down?
What you gonna do? You want to get down?
What you gonna do? You want to
get down? - Tell me.
Get down on it
get down on it





Teh Penis

Welcome again to the WAYWRN Looks Gone Wrong: Photographs Cropped to Protect the Guilty™ column, Teh Penis. Let's start with a bam, shall we?

BAM!



Jesus H, that's a man eating penis...look at the extreme deep see pressure it places on those fly buttons! Those are not my words...that is actually a quotation from real, living penis scientists who in their alarm have been working on a more palatable replacement. Something sleek. Something bionic. Something made of steel, maybe even chromed.

The first, experimental model was only partially successful:



Blame the Bavarian assembly plant and its daily allocation of beer to its workers. Construction was then moved to India, like Paul Smith shoes.

The second model was a complete success. It even pees...you put the head right in the bowl so that there isn't a hint of splash:




Yo! WAYWRN Cribs

Yo, yo, yo! Welcome to the inaugural episode of WAYWRN Cribs: the Cribs of the Sartorial Elite. In this episode of Cribs, we get an inside look at the rockin' residences of the dopest WAYWRN posters. They all live under one roof.

First stop on in the WAYWRN Mansion is the foyer, where the WAYWRN bra parks his whips. (Ignore the summons slipped under the door...we did NOT do it!)



Next stop is the mansion's home office. You can't see the massive jacuzzi for da hoes, which is just off one side of the photograph. But it's there, and it's on. Bubbling. Steaming. Because of the economy, we don't fill it with Krug anymore, but with a lot of tap water and Top Ramen. We also had to give up shoelaces.



Speaking of da hoes, next stop is the triple Cali-sized king bed, where the sheets are always spunky...so big, so fly, that the gym is underneath it:







We're gonna smash ya, and them pump some iron.

Yo, yo, yo...who left da garbage at da grill? Hah! That's not garbage, man, that's my stash!



The WAYWRN Mansion's kitchen is decked out in case there is a surprise visit by Manton. We don't have a chef's tunic for him, but we did get one of those gowns they give you at the hospital that doesn't really tie correctly in back. He better not complain...we couldn't get truffle, so there's a big bottle of laxatives on the counter instead. The Rules, BTW, state that you wear those hospital gown things naked...so, there will be crack (yeah, we got the hidden webcam rollin')



The giant puke bucket. Essential because the pahtays are always off da hook, yo! That bucket is going to be full of sick, sizzik ramen and laxative pellets tonight!!



The supafly built in closet. Where we keep all the inventory for the Buying and Selling sub-forum. Sliding shelves, yo! What of it? You think that shizzit that you buy for $13.78 with PayPal wrinkles on its own? Yeah, that's a pink cashmere Attolini tie in there somewhere. We're saving it for Bea Arthur's funeral. She's still hawt.



Thank you for joining us on WAYwRN Cribs and WAYWRN Looks Gone Wrong: Photographs Cropped to Protect the Guilty™.

Until next month...peace out, bra!




- B
post #632 of 2153
Fantastic. Well done. And you truly captured a phenomenon I've noticed here: extreme attention to sartorial style with apparent neglect of matters domestic.
post #633 of 2153
Terrific. Clearly something is wrong with the way I live my life though, I have only posted a handful of times in WAYWRN yet have managed to have three pictures in this, go me.
post #634 of 2153
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by youngscientist View Post
Terrific. Clearly something is wrong with the way I live my life though, I have only posted a handful of times in WAYWRN yet have managed to have three pictures in this, go me.

Absolutely nothing wrong with your university lifestyle...but I have the suspicion that many of your WAYWRN elders continue to live that way without the university lifestyle, uhm, explanation.

- B
post #635 of 2153
I have to admit I LOL'ed.
post #636 of 2153
post #637 of 2153
Well done, Voxy! I'm blushing with pride and my 14" of implanted surgical stainless steel is gently throbbing.
post #638 of 2153
I'm happy I contributed 2 pictures to this thread. Vox pm me so I can tell you were to send my royalty check. BTW, I would never touch any of those girls groping me, all were equally repulsing. The one of my direct left I would maybe hit if she would let me ass gap her.
post #639 of 2153
You've out done yourself Voxy! That was just what I needed after having a not so pleasant altercation with a Maserati...

Oh and the stash got wet
post #640 of 2153
Quote:
Originally Posted by randallr View Post
The one of my direct left I would maybe hit if she would let me ass gap her.

What a scumbag thing to say.
post #641 of 2153
A good month
post #642 of 2153
Good shit Brah.
post #643 of 2153
Quote:
Originally Posted by PinkPantser View Post
What a scumbag thing to say.

lol it's my forum persona, cool your jets
post #644 of 2153
so you're saying you wouldnt ass gap her?

Give her my number, i'll do it! For the forum!
post #645 of 2153
Quote:
Originally Posted by SkinnyGoomba View Post
so you're saying you wouldnt ass gap her?

Give her my number, i'll do it! For the forum!

Now that's a TRUE team player!
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