WAYWRN Looks Gone Wrong: Photographs Cropped to Protect the Guiltyâ„¢
Issue 1: February 2009
Welcome to the premier issue of
WAYWRN Looks Gone Wrong: Photographs Cropped to Protect the Guiltyâ„¢. In this little corner of the Internet, we good naturedly examine some of the wrong turns, dead ends, and over the cliff sartorial trips made on the WAYWRN thread of the Men's Clothing sub-forum of StyleForum. Most WAYWRN photographs crop the head to protect the innocent; here, we crop more to protect the guilty.
When we inaugurate such an important visual documentary series, we need to start out with an iconic image. Fortunately, the month of February brought us one, the ur-image of WAYWRN:
La Toiletta
The public lavatory, of course, is the primary home of WAYWRN. Whether toilet or stall, sink or mirror, towels or tubes of gray-brown cardboard bereft of tissue, the public lavatory has become "the place" where sharing of sartorial excellence happens. It's where the pulse of WAYWRN quickens. In this shot, we have it all. Yes, employees MUST wash hands. They really MUST. And you can see why...there is just a tiny, tiny bit of human excrement on the wall. Reflected in the mirror, you can see a new device of the Obama Age: the EcoToilet. This new toilet, which looks like the rubbish bins of yore, is delivered empty to the modern public lavatory. At the bottom is one sole Alka-Seltzer tablet. Efficiency drops off rapidly with use, but even as I write, engineering scientists are working on breakthrough solutions...most involving larger number of Alka-Seltzer tablets.
Color has always been a challenge to the WAYWRN male. Nature, particularly menstruation, is oft an inspiration:
Bloody Nice
Not tonight, honey...not tonight. Probably not tomorrow night either.
Accessorizing is something which the WAYWRN poster has long mastered:
Batten Down the Hatches
Button down collar? Check.
Collar bar? Check.
Tie bar? Check.
Pocket square? Check.
Corset? Check.
Handcuffs? Check.
Zip ties? Check.
Accessory drawer? Empty.
Oh, WAYWRN is a jolly place. Hijinks galore. Let's see one, shall we?
The Penis
Yes, of course he is grabbing his monkey as a joke. We get it. And we applaud it. But, what makes this image come alive is not the grabbing, but the extraordinary erection. I mean, it's pretty substantial...not binge level, sure...but this fellow is very happy to post. Very happy.
The Man in the Cardboard Box"Watcha lookin' at????"
"Are you lookin' at my waxed eyebrows? Until you feel the pain of the wax, you will never know the depths of the soul. Keep lookin'...while you are transfixed, my eyes are boring into your liver."
This is, in truth, the only image that I did not crop. There was a large box in an alley with a rectangular cutout in it, and what you see above was what was peeking out. I got the photo, but I kept walking. No..I admit it...I ran.
It's In the Details
It goes without saying that showing a bit of cuff marks the man from the boy, and the WAYWRN poster from mere mortals who simply wear clothes (those dingbats.) What are some guidelines about showing cuff?
Here, we see everything just coming together. Even more impressive is that the torso of one man has been grafted onto the legs of another...but at a 30 degree offset angle. Splendid.
You Have Been Out-Trad-ed...by ME!
There's collegiate, or preppy, style. There's trad. But then, beyond all those, there is Edwardian Trad:
You can try, but you simply cannot thrift this look. You have it...or you don't.
Damn The Rulez
And now, we interrupt WLGW for a special feature inspired by that totemic blog,
Teh Sartorialist. Let me introduce
Teh Bilateralist. In
Teh Bilateralist, we take one side of one WAYWRN post and juxtapose it to the other side of another WAYWRN post without bothering to resize.
Congratulations: it's a boy! Pure
Apparel Arts.
The Terrarium
Sadly, we now come to the end of this month's
WAYWRN Looks Gone Wrong: Photographs Cropped to Protect the Guiltyâ„¢. Get out your magnifying glasses, pull up a chair, and spend the most illuminating hour of your life trying to grasp the scope of the Slice of Doom. In the Slice of Doom, we take a narrow, horizontal view of a vertical photograph.
The owl ever watches. The dog meows. The baby laughs. The ship sails.
Until next month, I bid you adieu.
- B
