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Did/would you ask your girlfriend's father for his permission to propose to her? - Page 6

post #76 of 82
2/12/09 at 12:29am
Nope, I basically eloped.

Quote:
Originally Posted by merkur View Post
Did/would you ask your girlfriend's father for his permission to ask his daughter for her hand in marriage?
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post #77 of 82
2/12/09 at 2:35am
Wait, so with the absence of a father or a strained relationship with the father- do/would you talk to the mom?
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post #78 of 82
2/12/09 at 3:59am
Quote:
Originally Posted by globetrotter View Post
isn't what you discribed technically the "brideprice"? and what goes the other way the "dowry"


how much does a cow cost, by the way?

Um.. could be, in fact wikipedia agrees with you, but they call it dowry... maybe it started with a miss translation.

A standard cow from the local market/neighouring farm is a couple of hundred dollars.
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post #79 of 82
2/12/09 at 10:00am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nugget View Post
Um.. could be, in fact wikipedia agrees with you, but they call it dowry... maybe it started with a miss translation.

A standard cow from the local market/neighouring farm is a couple of hundred dollars.


cool, sounds like a very cool expereince.

I had a friend who was a minor noble in nigeria, but he was a doctor/businessman living half the year in london and he had been to school in engliand. I spent time with him in London and then in Lagos - it was cool how he went from dark suits to very colorful tribal clothing and the whole attitude changed.
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post #80 of 82
2/12/09 at 2:43pm
Didn't and wouldn't. Had I asked, he probably would have replied, "why are you asking me? You should probably ask her."

My wife was an adult when I asked her to marry me. She did not and does not require anyone else approving our marriage. I find it a little insulting that anyone would suggest that you should ask.

b
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post #81 of 82
2/12/09 at 3:57pm
I did, and would do it again! Not only did I ask him, but I took him out for drinks to do so!
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post #82 of 82
2/12/09 at 4:08pm
The property arguments lose quite a bit of weight when one considers that the proposee has the option to still say no- combined with the minuscule odds of the father saying no. If you think the father will say no for whatever reason, reevaluate the relationship or him; then proceed however is fit.

As GDL has said well, it is tradition. If you do not agree, do not do it, if you think you ought to and appropriate do. I feel that if you think he will say yes, then it is appropriate, if you think there is a chance of no, you need to ask why and proceed with care (and maybe some self-reflection). Your GF can be your guide, as if you are close to marriage, I think the conversation easily comes up. Or, if it has not come up organically, you can bring it up pretty easily- "I heard Jim asked Sara's dad first, I thought that was nice...."
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