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Man Dates

post #1 of 26
Thread Starter 
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/04/10/fashion/10date.html I read this article in the Sunday New York Times. Although I hang with my buddies on many occasions one on one, this article hits some points on the dot. Interesting read I must say.
post #2 of 26
I read it also. Funny, but oh so true.
post #3 of 26
I agree with CTGuy, they're thinking too much. I saw the article and thought, what is their problem? I have several very strong and long platonic relationships with girls and guys and I can hang out with them for days on end one-on-one and none of us find it weird. I think the people in this article need to grow up a little and get a little more comfortable in their skin. A.
post #4 of 26
Must be a slow news day. I get together one on one with male friend all the time - some of them gay, some straight, and not all the conversation is about sports or work. And nearly every guy I know does the same, I mean, seriously.
post #5 of 26
Same - but it does remind me of the two episodes of Seinfeld - "The Boyfriend, pts. 1 and 2"
post #6 of 26
That was funny. "I'm Keith Hernandez. I can do whatever I want."
post #7 of 26
That article really annoyed me. Men are not insecure about their sexuality. We do not have fragile egos. We like spending time with our friends and we do not fret about the impression left by every tiny gesture while we do so. I know that there is a cottage industry in feature journalism that depends on spreading these impressions around, but they are not true. Some writer was trying to make a name for herself by uncovering a trend that just doesn't exist.
post #8 of 26
Well at least the author admitted that she had invented the term "man date" for the article. I've seen worse instances of the journalistic practice of bogus-trend-spotting.
post #9 of 26
I read the article, and the author is perpetuating bad stereotypes about men.  We're not all beer-swilling, grunting, homophobic rubes and the ones of us who don't fit into that narrow definition of masculinity are not all homosexual. The "man date" is not a big deal.  If a guy wants to go to dinner and share his feelings with another male friend with nary a mention of sports or business, I don't see the problem with it.  If feeling that way makes me a wierdo, I'll just have to be one.
post #10 of 26
This is just sad. Have we become so self-conscious regarding the most amiable social activity: hanging with friends? Jon.
post #11 of 26
Thread Starter 
Last time I hung out with a guy friend I hadn't seen for a long time, the waiter at the restaurant we went to gave us 2 spoons for 1 dessert.   We ordered two different dishes...
post #12 of 26
In the author's defense, she is referring to outings akin to that a straight man would arrange with a woman in whom he has a romantic interest, not just "hanging out."  I disagree with the author that merely having dinner at a restaurant with cloth napkins qualifies; I have such dinners with male friends on a semi-regular basis.  Regarding her other examples, I think she has a point.  When was the last time you cooked dinner at home or caught the latest Meg Ryan flick with a guy friend?
post #13 of 26
Quote:
In the author's defense, she is referring to outings akin to that a straight man would arrange with a woman in whom he has a romantic interest, not just "hanging out." I disagree with the author that merely having dinner at a restaurant with cloth napkins qualifies; I have such dinners with male friends on a semi-regular basis. Regarding her other examples, I think she has a point. When was the last time you cooked dinner at home or caught the latest Meg Ryan flick with a guy friend?
I think it depends on the relationship with your friend. I have friends in Argentina that I have know since I was in preschool that have cooked for me when I went over to their houses, and it is perfectly ok (and delicious.), because the relationship is so intimate. Whereas with some friends which are either newly formed friendships or wholly American in thinking (and you know what I mean.), then yes an at-home dinner cooked by one for the other is quite rare, and perhaps not a wise choice. I have seen art / foreign films with male friends, some were romantic films in nature, but yeah I see your point: who watches Meg Ryan films anyways? Jon.
post #14 of 26
Quote:
Last time I hung out with a guy friend I hadn't seen for a long time, the waiter at the restaurant we went to gave us 2 spoons for 1 dessert.    We ordered two different dishes...
Yeah, that's happened to me too.
post #15 of 26
Horrible article and one of the worst attempts to forcibly birth a neologism I've had the displeasure of reading. Even riled me enough to write a quick note to the editor:
Quote:
To: features@seattlepi.com Subject: Re: Feature "Weird eyes for straight guys who just want to go out" Dear Sir/Madam, I have to admit I have spent time being deathly afraid that spending time with my male friends might imply I was "gay"... Over a decade ago, in primary school. Are American men really that insecure that they can't hang out with their male friends without questioning their sexuality? That's both bizarre and more than a little sad. Regards from the UK, where it's still thankfully acceptable to spend time with someone (of any gender) without shoehorning some kind of tenuous sexual context into the situation. Regards, [v0rtex]
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