Originally Posted by Eason
GQ had an article about guys who came out as gay prematurely and later realized they weren't, it was an interesting read.
It's so tough and, honestly, often you're damned if you do, damned if you don't. "Identity," whatever that means, is fluid and we good dualistic Cartesians make ourselves pick a place... and stay in it. I do it to myself, even though I don't mean to. I tell my students everyday about "embracing multiplicity," allowing yourself room to maneuver, change, grow, and not feeling constricted by oppressive social structures. I tell them not to WORRY if they like boys or girls and I even give them the tools to analyze their situations and themselves such that they can start NOT to worry. And yet, I'm not perfect and I rarely, if ever, am actually able to practice what I preach. I've honestly never even considered, nor do I know how... what it might be like to LIKE a girl/woman. Does that mean I'm 100% gay? Doubtful... it probably just means I've swung the pendulum in the opposite direction from my upbringing, to tell myself now that all that conflict was "worth it" because now I "know" who I am. Do I? Doubtful. Nobody does. We change by the hour/minute/day. I've studied enough Zen to know the stakes, and yet I'm the worst Zen, most insidiously Cartesian, you can get.