My one and only live gig was playing Irish music with two shit hot musicians. Me being a compete hack, just before we launch into the Flowers of Edinburgh, O'Rourke's Reel and the Maid Behind the Bar I say 'Not too fast, ok?'.Famous last words.
"Are you ready to hear something? I want you to see if this sounds familiar: any time you try a decent crime, you got fifty ways you're gonna fuck up. If you think of twenty-five of them, then you're a genius... and you ain't no genius."
'Do you have high arches?'
'Uhm, sorry, I have...?'
'Do you have high arches? Your feet?'
'I'm...I'm not sure...I don't think so.'
'Well then, perhaps you can explain to us why you have turned up here today in open laced shoes?'