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Posts by Biscotti

Jesus Christ man.
She has her own brand, interestingly enough, part of the name is "Feed Me".
So I ended up going on this online date with this girl named Sarah via Bumble App. Date seemed to go OK--she seemed fun, and then it got to paying, and we agreed to just split the check. She was cool with this, and then once the checks arrive she goes, "Oh no, I left my cards at home!" WTF, whatever, it wasn't expensive, so I just agreed to cover the God-damn meal. Well, this girl is an extreme weightlifter, and I find out from my others in town that this is her stunt...
So for 1.5 years, not only did I date a diseased, rather hairy and thick Eastern-Block quasi-feminine girl, but I also dated a complete dud in the mental development department. The great thing is, now that I am not with her, everyone who knew her in the engineering school all go, "Wait, you didn't realize she was a complete fucking retard?" Then I get, "Well, I would've told you, but ya'll were so cute together! I didn't want to ruin anything." Would've been nice to...
Hopefully, in five years or so, I'll just laugh about this whole situation.
Smell of cigarette smoke?
I had my first true dick measuring contest the other day in the woods! I won!
You just have to find the right disease-free girl!
Literally feels like broccoli is growing out of my asshole.
Unfortunately, all what I've posted is true--everytime my asshole itches, I think of the Russian and the ruin she put me in. From what I've read it should only take 1 or 2 outpatient surgeries to clear it up. The worst part is that I can't ride my bike.
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