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Posts by Zauberer

Upr_Crust's suit falls a bit short.  It needs question marks sewn on it.  Also, wearing a bandit mask with the ensemble would be a sartorial coup.   Going out and pulling a caper, however, is completely out of the question.  Especially in a sitting competition. I once sat for 486 1/2 straight days dressed like Mr. Freeze so I know of which I speak. 
Why all the calculus?  Knowing your shoe size doesn't require a medieval alchemist, an occultist of the black arts and Stephen Hawking.  Is there anyone with serious doubts about what size to try when buying shoes?  For yourselves?    Instead of solving for x, go to a shoe store, plop your dogs down on one of those metal slide-rule gizmos they have and get your numbers.  That's as close as you're going to get for ready made shoes.   It's a starting point for when you...
I thought the "OneShoe" (trademark?) was born from not wanting to do much thinking.  In fact, to me that was the one redeeming element of the whole idea.  Sort of like Jeff Goldblum's character in 'The Fly' where he owns a dozen of the exact same outift and shoes.  That way he gets dressed every day but doesn't have to think about what he's going to wear. Are you saying there is some subtlety in the OneShoe idea?  I'm missing it entirely.    I remember when I realized...
Having an OTR suit altered for you shouldnt be a problem.  Although you're a big dude, the measurements you gave aren't sideshow freaky unless 50 of those 265 pounds are represented by a hump on your back.  Yet even the charming Igor from the classic horror flicks could be fitted with a jacket which made him look dapper if not downright sexy.  The important thing as I'm sure you know is to lose the weight and don't buy any clothing until you're at a size you plan on...
Hugo Boss was an ardent Nazi and a proud supplier of Nazi uniforms. He used prisoner/slave labor during the war and astonishingly his profit margins sky-rocketed.  What a terrific and savvy business model.  You have to admit those SS concentration camp guards were some sharp-looking bastards - the last glance of mass produced suiting excellence millions of people ever saw.  I'm sure they were awed and felt greatly priveledged to be shuffled off to the gas chambers by men...
If you're going to an interview, wear the suit and wear a pair of shoes, period. Black, brown -burgundy, doesn't matter. .  If they're clean, they'll be fine.    Over the years, I've interviewed near countless people.  I'm not in HR but we wisely don't give our HR department any kind of weighty say in who we're hiring. That didn't work out so I along with a hiring comittee do the interviews.  As long as the applicant is hygienic and mostly presentable, I get past...
It needs a bed in the back with a mini-bar.  I might stop short of a mirrored disco ball, but would't hesitate to add machineguns and a grenade launcher.       Note:  Laws vary from state to state.  Please consult the AAA Digest of Motor Laws before considering the purchase of a mirrored disco ball.
Next time I'm in a shoe store I'm going to say, "Yes, may I see your line of aggressively styled loafers?"  Complete poker face.  Just like the OP who is squarely putting us on. 
"Soul to Sole" "Shoe Strings & Things" "Zapatos 4 U" "Tongue my Balmorals" "Eyelet the Dogs Out" "The Bank Gave me 200K to Fuck Off For Six Months, Then This Will Become a Sandwich Shop Which Smells Vaguely of Old Italian Leather"   But if you really want to succeed:   "IsteRed's Booze, Porn, Live Dancers & Some Shoes"    You're welcome,
I really don't think so, Oink.  Who cares if chicks think you're balding?  Should guys who actually are balding stay home, cut their balls off and give up?  No.  Any woman you would actually care to be with has a hundred things they look for in a guy before follicles make the checklist.  Do you see attractive girls with bald guys?  Yes. All the time, right?  It's not about money either.  Girls pick up on insecurity even if they don't know the cause behind it.  It's a bald...
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