Essentially, you want a shoe that is reasonably flexible and a sole that is smooth and slides easily. You can buy dance shoes that will be perfect on the dance floor, but you wouldn't want to wear outside. Personally, I stuck a suede sole on a pair of Converse sneakers.
Sounds like you might be a candidate for J. Crew. I wouldn't worry too much about the construction. If it fits and you like the style, you'll look good. Other options might be Benjamin at eHaberdasher, or Howard Yount.
I believe with BB MTM that you start with one of their existing models (Fitz, Milano, etc), and then make minor adjustments so it fits you better. Unless you want to make drastic changes, I don't think you can go too far wrong.
Don't know about cost, but I'd assume it will cost more than the pants. Definitely worth doing. I've never done it on a suit, but I did on a shirt and it improved it greatly. Nice buttons won't be cheap either.
I am the same size as you, and I just bought a Borelli that was reasonably slim fitting (although not hipster slim.) I think a lot of the more expensive brands are cut larger, because their typical clientele are older / larger, but they usually have some slimmer fitting styles.