You don't have any odd hats, shades, pins, shoes, tie clips, cufflinks, monocles, gold grills, ? Rummage thru that closet. There is bound to be something. I refuse to believe you went to Pitti and didn't stumble over some sort of oddity. I mean how many US Veterans can say they went to Vietnam shacked with the local prostitutes and didn't bring back some kind of STD?