"Don't insult yourself. I will ship the pants back to the address you shipped them from, thanks.
On another note:
Making ignorant comments speaks very highly of your intelligence level.
You seem to not have grasped the concept of cleanliness. New means clean as well as being never worn or used. Once you try the pants on then they become used. Just like buying a new car, once you drive it off the lot it becomes a used car. Rubbing the pants on the ground making them dirty...